Was

The word that hurts the most.

But...also leads to new beginnings

Down The Hole Again

Argh.  Seems like I feel like I'm tumbling back down to reality.  Or something like that.

Smile through it; it could be so, so much worse.

Change your perspective.

Shift the outlook.

Is this what an ulcer feels like?

It reads like a cry for help, but only I can help myself.

I will get through this

No Time For Sleep

Or something like that.  I guess I haven't been sleeping much lately.  Been trying to work at the house, but it's slow-going.  But it'll all be worth it when it's done, right?

*crickets*

*  *  *

Looks like the thoughts/feelings are cycling again.  This has to subside somehow

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxXBL7wYjLI

Nose Bleed City

Sigh.  Hope my boy isn't one of those kids that always has nosebleeds, as displayed this morning.  Was supposed to go to the gym but I had to call that off (one of the drawbacks of having this position for the summer).  Can't wait to get into a routine

*  *  *

Dreams are far and few between.  Even the day-type.  Can't wait until it comes back, if it ever comes back

*  *  *

Might have to just bite the bullet and ask for help with the house.  I'm exhausted and weary, and my motivation is waning.  I know it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help, but I really wanted to do it by myself.  Ah well.  Hope it's not too expensive

Day Care Woes

So my unlicenced day care seems to be going through a bit of a problem thanks to a mother-in-law of a mother of a child that is not even going to be registered at the day care anymore.  Spent a good chunk of the morning investigating the possibilities for the day care owner and the conclusion was to be "tricky".

Unfortunately that also means my boy has to have alternate plans for day care.  Thank goodness he has grandparents on both sides willing to help out.

Hate it when bad luck strikes good people

*  *  *

CBC Radio 2, I am a big fan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9uV-MWSt28

That Antique Roadshow High

So that cheap dining room set pick up I had earlier today?  Turns out it is teak and it re-sales for a much, much higher price.  Boom.  Pretty good considering I wasn't even going to get the chairs, just the table.  Now I have something to sell that should make-up the price of what I bought it for.  Double boom.

Now it would appear I got the "high" of antique-ing and finding a rare gem at an unbeatable price.  And of course, all because of dumb luck

High School Reunion

That's what it felt like at Ryna's nups last night.  Always nice seeing people from your past (and present).  Left me with a feeling of...angst (?)...nervousness (?)....excitement (?) for the future.

Nice party with some nice moments.  The emcee really annoyed me (drunk? Wouldn't shut up?  Horrible speaking voice?  Grumpy old man (me)?  All checked).  Also, I will forever be the "sober one" while the friends all get drunk.  Amusing and annoying all the same, but some things I guess will never change

*  *  *

Got my delivery from the Brick today.  Dear gawd, it's been so long since I ordered it I don't even remember what it looks like anymore.

Also picked up a cheap (!) but good dining set with chairs from kijiji.  This car of mine, the awesome Fit...never ceases to amaze me.  I actually fit all of it in there!  This on top of when I fit a living room chair in there as well.  Each time I worried I needed to get my Dad's van.  I've got to stop underestimating how mighty this little car is.

Anyway, I'm gonna sell these chairs and most likely end up getting this table for free plus some profit.  Score!

*  *  *

All things considered with what's happening in my life, I'm damn lucky.  I hope things stay the same/get even better going forward

*  *  *

It seems like at times I have full conversations with sentences with my baby boy.  He's growing so fast and getting so smart (and also becoming a smart ass).  Love that kid

*  *  *

Gonna play some basketball in a bit.  Hope I don't have a heart attack.  I've been hitting the junk food/been eating unhealthy for quite a bit now.  I'm looking for that motivation again and stop using convenient excuses not to do what I have to do

*  *  *

From the wedding last night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhC2wZDK63w

An-Teak-Ing

I've always had a thing for solid wood furniture.  I've also always had a thing for teak, and clean mid-century Danish lines on furniture (I couldn't actually describe it until recently, but I always knew I like it).

So now my latest hobby is sourcing affordable, mid-century teak pieces (antique-ing?  Really?!?).  I was successful in finding these awesome 1960's dining chairs and an old, glass-topped, teak-bottomed coffee table (thank you kijiji).  This in addition to the modern-retro chair I got for cheap yesterday, and I have a challenge ahead of me in trying to make it all work.  I also have to find a dining table and perhaps a credenza.

Of course I still have more than a ton of stuff to do in the house to get it all ready.  Just gotta take it one day at a time, cause gawd knows my anxiety levels have been blasting through the roof lately

*  *  *

Nina's wedding this weekend means it's reunion time again...let's hope it's not awkward or anything with everything considered

*  *  *

Tomorrow is the annual all-you-can-eat Jays' game extravaganza with the workmates.  Sodium, fat, calories and nitrates, here we come

*  *  *

Maybe I need to start writing again.  It's definitely not going to be everyday, that's for sure, but let's see if this will help

This Is Getting Ridonk

When will it stop?  Or at least calm down?

Why can't I be "normal"?

When Will The Mind Settle?

Never.

But I'm hoping it goes down to at least manageable

Sigh. Can't Sleep...

...too many things on my mind.  Doubt, frustration, worry.

I am optimistic that it will be better soon.

Soon can't come soon enough.

Just gotta keep fighting through this and be mindful, thankful and grateful with the way things are for now

33

I'm now 33 years old.

Keep on moving

It's A New Year...

...a new life?  Lots has happened since my last post.

I look forward to the new year and the future with lots of hope and with trying hard to make life work.  I never want to disappoint anyone, but I have to remember that I can't disappoint myself either.

I am lucky for the life I have had, have right now and will have.  I am also lucky to have the people in my life that I do.

Here we go...

Maybe It's Time

...

Easing Back Into It

And just like that, my time in WNV for the season has officially come to a close.  I started preparing for Tuesday and the massive amount of work I have ahead of me until the end of the year.

Not that I'm complaining...it is always very good to be gainfully employed.

Hopefully some of the anxiety I had will start to ease at least just a bit.

Long weekend ahead what

127

So apparently after my WNV gig is up, that is the number of inspections I'm supposed to do by the end of the year.

Yeah.

Right

*  *  *

Accomplishment:  won in ball this morning.  First time in a while, and while sick too!

Thanks, Son

Yup.  Just as I feared...got the virus from the boy.  Feeling kinda crappy.  Oh well.

And I hate feeling physically bad because as always it makes me emotionally a wreck (even more so...lol)

*  *  *

Today was officially the last day of trapping for mosquitoes for the 2012 season.  Fun to do, but seriously put on a lot of kilometres on my car

*  *  *

Eamon ate ketchup for dinner.  Just about only ketchup (a few bites of meatballs and crackers, plus his usual berries).  Hate it when he's sick because he gets quite fussy (seriously have no idea where he gets it from)

"Oh Good, It's Only Viral"

When does saying that actually mean it's a good thing?  When your baby is sick and you hope it's a self-limiting disease.  Took the kiddo to the walk-in today because of a nagging cough.  In what would appear to be a new record anywhere, we were in and out of the office in 5 minutes.  When the hell does that ever happen?  Well whatever the case, I'll take it.  Just gotta hope he sleeps throughout the night

*  *  *

The chunk of skin sawed off from my finger looks exactly like that; a big chunk of my skin gone.  Weird that I didn't bleed so much

*  *  *

I like CBC Radio 2.  Gives me an eclectic mix of music to listen to, like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISrqdwBfDY4

*  *  *

Found out my new work area for the next few years...for the first time in my career, I'll be having a Mississauga area.  Hope it's not something I'm going to dislike.  Then again, I'll be only there 6 months out of the year for the next couple of years if I continue on the WNV program

IT Tech? Pshhh...I Can Be That

(not really)

So I was without the Internet at home for the past few days.  I wasn't sure what was happening (nor had the inclination to figure it out).  I actually kind of felt helpless.

So I did what any resourceful person did:  google and youtube the crap out of it.  And lo and behold...I have fixed the network!  Of course the reason it screwed up in the first place may have been self-inflicted, but you know, whatever.

And now that the internet is fixed again...Sharon rolls her eyes and does not verbal say "oh great here we go again"

*  *  *

Okay, so today is now officially the first day of the last week of WNV.  I think.  We'll see what happens

*  *  *

No energy at ball today.  Sucks

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXE2HlyBbrM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKcexAkmEvI

In Which I Almost Cut My Finger Off

Well that was a first. Doing baseboards at Arfeli's new place when I lost my concentration for a split-second. That was all the time needed for me to nick my finger.

Having a penchancy for dramatics, I was okay at first until I saw Arvin do his patented freak-out but pretend he's not and then he asked me if it hit my bone. Then I started feeling like I was going to pass out, drank a lot of water, remembered it was a long time since I ate, and said we needed to take a break.  Luckily it is just a superficial cut. I've really got to get a grip on this freaking out thing I do.

Anywho, it was a good day today. Antonio's bday party was good and we finished the main parts of the baseboards (only wood filling and painted left to do).

Oh and it would appear I'm in WNV for another week. Yee-uh! I think!