Pigee

That's what I call the hairs on my chin, because it's not quite a goatee. In fact, the hairs are so sparse, it just looks like it's dirty. But I don't care, I wanna see how long I can pull this off before I, well, pull it off.

This is how long mine will be...in about 68 years

* * *

Anyone remember that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer goes on a test drive with the salesman, and the gas light goes on, and the salesman is scared they are going to run out of gas but Kramer convinces him to keep going? Well yesterday, my gas light started flashing in Oakville (as I was coming home from Niagara). I was thinking I could drive all the way to the Mavis Petro-Canada. But, I lost my nerve. I got off at Erin Mills (with my A/C and radio turned off to, you know, conserve gas). And then when I filled my tank, I realized I still had about 6-7 litres of gas in it. Dammit! I could've made it to Mavis!

The above totally made sense to me, including why I would possibly wait till the last second to get gas. I am special.

Learning At The Casino

So this morning, I left my house at 5:30am to make my way to Fallsview Casino. Convenient I got there at 6:45am, because then I had over an hour to play my favourite casino game:

You know how horny I get when I get these cards together?

The Canadian Institute of Public Health Inspectors (CIPHI), which I am almost proud not to be a part of, was holding it's annual conference there. This was a three day event, starting last Monday. I wasn't going to go, but my Boss wanted me to go. Add on top of that the day he chose for me to go was on a Wednesday (cheap tables!), I guess I wasn't gonna complain. The only thing I was semi-worried about was that I was on-call, and there might have been a chance I could've gotten an emergency call (imagine I'd have to go back home while at the table?). But, I didn't.

So the result? I doubled my money going in, but found it was only 7:30am. So did I stop? Nah...I kept playing till I lost all the money I won. In other words, I broke exactly even. I'll take it!

Oh yeah, and the conference wasn't that bad I guess, it was somewhat interesting. Looks like I'll be paying my $120 dues every year starting next year, I suppose to be a "member in good standing." My self-imposed boycott has been lifted; not that anyone noticed. But make no mistake about it: I still don't know what CIPHI does for me. You're telling me I'm paying $120 every year for...magazines?!? (PHIs would know what I'm talking about here)

* * *

I've been meaning to take and post picture of my driveway before and after shots. Eventually. Maybe next year? We'll see how lazy I'm not.

Another My Mom Is Funny Moment:

"Is that Anatomy Grey on TV or CD?"

Spalicious

Okay, I didn't go to an actual spa, but I did go to my massage ("mah-sah-guh" is the way I say it, according to people who make fun of the way I talk) therapist. I didn't really have that many aches and pains, but thought I'd go anyway. Relaxicious!

A Canadian Beauty

* * *

Gonna sign up for wedding courses today. That's it, now I'm really in for it...

How You Doing Lola?

September 11 will always be a date everyone remembers. I remember five years ago thinking that World War Three was starting (which, to some effect, I guess it has. Maybe not as definitive as previous wars, but make no mistake, we obviously are not living in peaceful times). I remember waking up, groggily, and watching it on TV. My Lola was there watching it too, doing her trademarked "tsk tsk tsk" as she watched it. I remember being transfixed to the TV screen, thinking it was a dream. What was this world coming to?

I went to school, and it was eerie. Everyone was leaving the city while I was coming in. When Walter and I got to school, all the chaos was just starting; everyone was panicking, all these rumours of the high rise buildings in Downtown were closed. Our class was eventually cancelled, and Walter and I expected to be stuck behind hoards of people going home. But for some reason, it wasn't. I guess everyone was home already, or prolly didn't go to the city at all.

When I got home, I watched TV coverage for perhaps three-four hours straight. While I don't remember it specifically, I'm pretty sure I also prayed with my Lola that night, our customary one mystery (apparently I became too busy for a whole rosary as I got older).

* * *

Exactly two years later, my Lola passed away on a hospital bed, stricken with cancer. My whole family was there, and everyone was crying. Except me. I didn't cry. I still haven't cried. I refuse to, because I saw what cancer did to her. I also remember being somewhat...relieved? My Lola had all the faith in the world in God (more than I think I ever will have). There is no doubt in my mind she's in heaven with Him.

As I get older, the cemetary visits become less frequent, the thoughts of her become less and less. Life goes on, and save for a couple of memories, I'm sure she understands why I'm not so outward with my emotions or actions when I think of her (at least I hope she does). I'm not immature enough to blame anyone or wonder "why?" Death is as much a part of life as everything else.

I was preparing for the day that would eventually come exactly three years ago today. I chose to look at her life as part of her death. I remember a genuine woman who helped raise me be the man I am today; the man I aspire to be. I will always remember my Lola like this:

I am sorry life got so busy Lola. I'm sorry I haven't visited you as much as I should have. I still think of you every now and then. I want you to be proud of me, but I know I fail. While I know you won't be at my wedding physically, I somehow think you will still be there. Maybe I'll never cry that you are not with us here anymore, but don't mistake that for me not being sad. It's just easier this way.

House Hunting

Sort of. Kind of. Not seriously though.

* * *

I've been on-call this past week. Wow, I really have nothing to talk about it seems.

Damn, I Missed It

So I went to Walter's karoke party today with Sharon. While it was fun hanging out with some workmates, I also missed my old student's wedding. I was briefed by lil' Mikey that a certain clerk that used to work for my office was there looking for me. And based on the picture that Mikey sent me...yeah...wow (I would post the picture up here, but just in case anyone reading this might know her, well, I'd rather not).

And for those of you that may lecture me on the fact that I have a fiance, she said it's okay for me to have an infatuation with her. See? This is why I really, really love Sharon.

* * *

On another somewhat mixed-feelings note, my buddy at work, Tabico Jr. has been recently appointed the Quality Assurance position. In other words, he is going to be the PHI policing the other PHIs. Kinda sucks to see him leave our office, but at the same time it's good for me because it means I'm protected. What do I mean? Let's just say that any indiscrestions at work I may commit that he may notice will be overlooked. Score!

Mr. Big Shot

I always thought that guys who got their clothes made specifically for them were big shots. Well guess who's a big shot now?!? Maxwell's Clothiers, established in 1961, purveyors of custom made men's garments (albeit most likely in China's sweatshops), was in town this week taking orders. I made my way down to the Windham Bristol Hotel with Sharon and saw the man himself, Mr. Maxwell (well, the son of the original Mr. Maxwell, and an Indian guy who spoke Chinese).

I picked my fabrics:

-white 100% cotton, because everyone needs one plain white shirt

-burnt orange polyblend, because I am recently very infatuated with the colour orange (what is this, the '70s?)

-light blue oxford point 100% cotton, because blue is also a very neutral colour

I also picked a windsor collar and french cuffs for the dress shirts. And my favorite part? Having my initials "JM" embroidered on the cuffs for a little of that flair and pizzaz to let people know I mean business. And with a notice on top of my order form that says "Rush Rush November 10" and a payment of $150 (good deal! at least I think...) just like that I am now part of the customization club. What up now playa?

The next time they come to town, I might just have to pick up a customized suit for $485. I just have to convince Sharon somehow that it's a good investment. Because, you know, the one time I wear it every two years pays great returns on this investment.

How McDonald's Affects Society And Its Members

It can make certain members sad. Like me. I ordered fries today and asked for my customary accompaniment:

Hot even until its death

Only to find out it has been discontinued and replaced with the more bland, generic, run-of-the-mill, same as the other fast food joints honey mustard. wtf?!? How am I going to truly enjoy my fish fillets during Lent?

R.I.P. Honey Mustard. R.I.P. indeed

*sigh*

Struttin' But Not Swayin'

So Ken and I decided to put in my other suspension parts on my car today, three in total. Thinking we can do it in a couple of hours, to no one's surprise (least of all ours), we were only able to complete installing one part out of the three. The Strut Bar is complete, only the rear member brace and the rear sway bar is left.

I think I've become one of those guys, you know, the guys who just pays other people to do stuff. I used to want to do all my stuff myself. But now? I dunno...I think I'm just too tired. Must be because of the long, stressful days of work I've had the past couple of days. Tomorrow doesn't seem any better either. Sigh

My Life Of Pie

So I had a long day at work today, but I did do an inspection of this homemade pie making place. I've been having this thing lately for pie, so I thought, "why not buy one of these pies?" I know, outstanding logic. So I did, and now I'm baking the strawberry-apple pie right now. Can't wait to put a slice of cheese on it...yum...

A dyslexic pervert would say, "mmmm...pie cream..."

Suspension Upgrade Phase II

That's it, pose for me baby! Yeah!

Can't wait...

Working On Labour Day

How ironic. But it's not like it's strenuous work...I am just sitting here waiting for dead bird phone calls, which most likely won't happen. So, as a result, I am watching DVDs. I know, tough work and government money well spent. But of course I'm not complaining; double overtime baby!

By the way, who goes to Toronto for pizza at 11:45pm on a Sunday night?

Served on a a plate of peptobismol

Apparently Jason and Argay do. But Cora's was good, and so was the chacha slice we had. I wish they had an all-night donair stand...I'd so be on that

Crap! Crepe!

So I went to Vaughn Mills today with Sharon because I wanted to do some shopping, despite what she thinks. She thought the only reason I wanted to go there was for this:

Nutella-ing me it's not good?

I will admit that the crepe with nutella and strawberries was damn good, but really, I wanted to shop. I ended up getting a cool pair of polyester pants. Sharon didn't do too bad either, scoring some pants and a jacket. I also got beef jerky and she got ice cream. Oh yes, good times all the way around.

Oh, and did I mention I saw my ex-girlfriend, whom I haven't talked to in years, there? I didn't say hi or anything, but the scenario could've been funny because:

-I was unshaved and feeling yucky/ugly

-she was looking good

-I was eating a crepe, looking like a fat loser trying to find a table

-my fiance was there, sick as heck, sounding like a man (according to her, don't lambast me) and not wearing her ring

All of this culminating to this likely exchange (in my head, of course): "Hi! I haven't seen you for a while (while nutella from my crepe is dripping on my nasty goatee and white shirt)! This is my fiance Sharon! No really, she's my fiance, she just didn't wear her ring today! I'm not lying! Say hi Sharon! I know, she sounds really sexy! See how well my life has been since you dumped me and we last spoke! Wanna grab a coffee sometime? I have a job!"

But luckily I didn't say anything. I just told Sharon, "there's my ex-girlfriend" and dragged her with me to the opposite direction. Of course the requisite teasing from Sharon and the "why are you blushing?" taunts came out, but I can't blame her. I am retarded, after all.

But of course, I'm very glad things turned out the way it did (obviously). I love Sharon with all my heart and I do believe she's my soulmate. I swear I'm not saying this just because she reads my blog. Really! I love you baby! (I really shouldn't say much on this whole topic anymore; it's getting kinda awkward)

I Went To The Ex...Oh Baby

Every year, I always go to the CNE and at the end of the experience I always complain and say "never again." So this year, I was determined to go (thus reversing the eventuality of mine going). And what happens? I find myself there. Again.

But - I do have a good reason: I had free tickets. It was raining and pouring and horrible weather (the less likely chance people would be there and I wouldn't have to contend with crowds, as time and time again I have expressed my utter disdain for waiting). I thought, perfect. So I convinced Sharon and Arvin to go.

First stop when we got there:

Dem pooches be corny

That's right, corn dog heaven/hell. Heaven because it's freshly made. Hell because after having one my life expectancy just went down 4 months I think.

We also went to the midway, with very little people there. I wanted to "recapture the magic" with Sharon when I won her a stuffed animal much to her surprise playing the break the beer bottles game. Let's just say there was no magic in the air tonight. On top of that, I think I popped my shoulder. Argh. Oh, even on topper of that, Sharon won her own stuffed animal by playing the throw the wiffle ball on top of coloured cups. That's right: I'm a man.

We then went to the farm animal building. I love cows. They stink though. The pig that licked me was cute. Again, it stunk though. We also saw the fall fair pagent winners for all the fall fairs around Ontario. Arvin and I used to think that perhaps there were cute cowpoke girls lurking around the rural areas of Ontario. Not anymore.

Then it was off to the food building, where I absolutely gorged myself. Shawarma and tacos for dessert (!), and I helped Arvin eat his corned beef sandwich and french fries. I also had a few bites of Sharon's beaver tail (heehee). Unsurprisingly, there was no room for Tiny Tom donuts. Maybe it was for the better.

We then went to the shopping place, where Arvin bought Bvlgari cologne for cheap. It was less than half price in the stores, so he was vpbeat and ouerjoyed. Oh, I didn't finish all the food at the food building; it was at this point while they shopped I decided to sit down by a fence and eat my leftovers. But after dozens of stares come from various people, and feeling like a freakshow, I moved to a more discreet corner. I should've put a cup out for change, I prolly would've gotten it.

After going to the midway again and getting absolutely drenched, we met up with my parents who watched the Superdogs show, and drove home. All in all, I didn't have that feeling of "never again" so I guess this would be considered a successful ex year. Which, of course, means I won't be going next year.

Fore!

So on my day off today, I went for (what seems now) my annual golf game. I went to Centennial Park with Ken and Marcin. Marcin and I ended up tied and Ken came in a distant second, which is not that surprising as it was his deflowering golf game. It was a good game, despite plenty of mulligans, lost balls and fore calls.

Imagine if it hit them on the foreskin!

Then to celebrate, we went to Master Steaks for a good steak lunch, which I topped it off with a pecan tart that was awesome. When I got home, my strut bar from Chicago was just delivered, thus the beginning of phase 2 of suspension upgrade for my car has begun. Great day off so far, although my baby is sick and might not be able to make it out to Ivy's party tonight. I don't want to go without her, thus confirming what I thought: I'm one of those relationship guys. That's it, I got to buy a motorcycle.

Master Summer Over

So my summer as a mentor has officially ended as I have a day off tomorrow. We celebrated as a team by taking the students out to Shoeless Joe's. My student innodated me with gifts, including a plush cow toy and baked goods. I was even prominently featured in her scrapbook that she made (I'm going to have to get ready for all the barbs I'm going to incur next week). I will miss my student, as she definitely is one of the most, ummm...unique persons I have ever met.

My ex-student from last year, who I didn't get onto the right foot with at the beginning (but everything is fine since), is taking the month off as she gets married. Now that I have two students under my belt (not literally), I am left wondering if I'll do this mentoring thing next year again. I enjoy it, but it does take a lot of time out of you and it could get repetitive. Not that that is a bad thing, as I sometimes have to find things to do. I'll further assess in, say...December.

* * *

When was the last time I did something crazy and unexpected? I wanted to go to Buffalo today just for the heck of it, but no one was available/willing to. But Ken did give me an idea: I think I'll go golfing tomorrow on my day off. Fore!

"Claiborne Is For Men Too"

J: "Hey Baby, I'm at Yorkdale with Arvin right now. I went into Sears on a hunch to look at the suits. As I was looking around, I went to the clearance rack near the back. I saw this one suit, the only beige one there. I looked at the size, and it was a 40S! Not only that, it's $300 off!!! And it's a Claiborne!!! Should I get it?"

S: (apparently forgetting that for the past month or so she's been telling me she's going to buy me a suit) "Is it for me?"

J: "Ummmm....it's for me?"
S: "Liz Claiborne makes suits for men too?"

J: (what I was gonna say, because I'm a sarcasitc jerk sometimes): "No, I'm trying on women's clothing because: 1. I'm with Arvin, whose been known to wear women's clothing; 2. I prefer the fit of women's clothing because of my curves; and, 3. I was gonna buy this so we can both share the suit"

(what I said, because I realized I shouldn't be a sarcastic jerk with the love of my life): "yes"

So I bought it. Kinda like this, except imagine it with 3 buttons, a different colour, and the suit on someone with a head on:

A real bonus would've been a girl in those pants. Then the pants on my bedroom floor. I'm a pervert!

Okay, it's not like that, but close. Kinda. Sorta. Not really.

I realized I'm one of those it was meant to be kind of shoppers (within reason, of course). Here I was, at Yorkdale, out of the blue (Arvin and I were supposed to go to Pacific Mall, but the traffic was too heavy so we ended up at Yorkdale). I parked at another parking lot I usually don't park in. Went into the first store I normally wouldn't go into. Saw the suit, the last of it's kind. In my size. At a sale price! I even left it on the exact same rack for 1.5 hours, and thought to myself, "if it's there when I come back, I'll buy it." And when I saw it there, of course, it was meant to be!

The only thing left...argue with Sharon that she does not have to pay for my suit because I got it already. I guess she doesn't realize that she's paying for my motorcycle? She does now!

Crazy!

So I showed Sharon around Bolton today. I think it's kinda crazy that her and I work so close to each other now. Makes me wanna:

Scenes from Mission Impossible 8

Well, not really. That's just a little cookoo (but man it does show he's in love. Why hate on him for that?).

But it will be nice when we have lunch together sometimes. That is up until when we move in with each other, which by then she'll prolly be thoroughly fed up with me. Can't wait!

All I Can Do...

...is go crazy. This Chantal Kreviazuk song, "All I Can Do Is Love You To Pieces" is stuck in my head, with her what seems like yoddeling the chorus in my head. Seriously, I can't get it out. I got this picture of her:

All I can do is love your keelee keelee

Wow...I didn't know she was that...ummm...talented...

* * *

Had lamb shawarma today for lunch with Rowie. Damnlambtastic!

* * *

Weird having Sharon working so close to me now. She looks so pretty and businesslady like. Yum

Jogging

Yeah, I had one of those days where I said to myself, "self, you haven't gone jogging for a while. Why don't you try it again?" Hey, I can do this no problem! It's like riding a bike! Except it turned out to be riding a bike...then horrifically crashing it. Running straight distances? Well, in 10 minute spurts. Okay, I have a lot of training to do again. Gotta lose some of that gut...

40 S

My suit size. Now I won't forget, hopefully. Well the "S" is not that hard to forget because God has blessed me with short limbs.

Topomatic

So for the longest time, I wondered what Busta was saying in his song, "Touch It." I always thought is was, "touch it bring it turn it leave stop it stop it top-o-matic." Yes, I know that makes no real sense. I finally looked it up and found out he's really saying, "touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it, turn it, leave it, stop, format it."

I guess that answers that, although I prefer to say top-o-matic. It's a funner word.

Michnifer, You Make Me Full

So congrats goes out to Team Michnifer (aka. Jennichael). Held in the pleasant City of London, the wedding went off without a hitch (well, except for the bride and groom that got, well, hitched).
Some quick highlights, because I am damn sleepy from that drive home while trying to digest and stay awake by constantly opening and closing the window, turning off and on the interior lights, singing, etc.:
-got to London early, so we ate lunch at Arby's. Needless to say, we were the best dressed people in the restaurant eating roast beef sandwiches
-got to the Church, and met Sharon's rather tall classmate Sheila. She plays rugby. I wonder if she plays the "hooker" position. Okay, bad joke
-went in and sat with Suzanne and her daughter Taryn, who looked like Mini-Me of Suzanne due to them wearing the same colour dress
-the Priest used a lot of pauses, seemingly for dramatic effect. For a second there, we thought he forgot what he was going to say, like their names. But regardless, it was a nice wedding ceremony
-I had to stay really still, because of that whole hyperhydrosis thing I think I have
-went to a restaurant "Just A Taste" with Sharon and her classmates, including Lukas, Danielle, Sheila, Ludwica, Patrick, Suzanne and Taryn. The way Taryn was acting, I thought for sure Sharon would've wanted to get her tubes tied
-agreed to drive Suzanne and Taryn to the reception, so we went to her house. In her house are all sorts of body plaster mold/art pieces on the walls, including one of a lady with implants. I'm not sure if that means I saw porn or pseudoporn
-got to Shanghai Restaurant, where the reception was being held. Sat at a table with Patrick the Australian, Ludwica, Karen and her husband the Newfie Mike, Steve and his wife Serena who has a baby named Sage, and Heather. Seeing as how I was the only Asian at the all-white table (with the exception of Sharon), I think I was designated "guy who explains what food is coming out because I looked most likely to know." Which I guess was fitting, because I was the only one who ate at least a serving of each of the TWELVE COURSES we had:
1. Assorted BBQ Meats, including jellyfish (which didn't go over too well with some of the people at the table. Surprising?)
2. Stuffed Crab Claws. A chorus of "there's something in my chicken ball!" jokes rang out
3. Vegetables and seafood in a Phoenix's nest (some of the girls like the potato bowl). I exclaimed, "...and I ate the bowl!" while I was eating it, but the Tim Horton's commercial referenced joke kinda flew over everyone's head
4. Shark's Fin Soup. The Newfie said it looked like snot. It did. It was still tasty though. And I was the only one that ate a whole bowl
5. Crisy Chicken. I would think the most popular course that came out, because afterwards came...
6. Lobster! wtf?!? How the people at my table didn't eat perhaps the most expensive course is beyond me, but I wasn't complaining. I had plenty of lobster. And it was quite yummy.
7. Sea Cucumbers with Mushrooms and Bok Choy. If they didn't eat the lobster, they obviously didn't eat the "penis of the sea"
8. Fried Pickerel. Another great dish. Another dish only eaten by pretty much me (although Sharon helped out)
(a big lull between the next courses, but then they wham-ohed us with two courses at once)
9. Yeung Chow Fried Rice
10. Long Life Noodles. By this point though, things slowed down at the table due to the people not being used to having dinner spanned out over 3.5 hours or so
11. Red Bean Soup and Sesame Seed/Almond Cookies. Yummy, but not as yummy as...
12. Cake! The citrus with cream cheese icing kind and the chocolate cake with icing kind. Very good
-yes, I realize I memorized all the courses we ate (which should at least hopefully make Jen smile when she reads this), but as Sharon said, "this is like your perfect wedding reception, huh?"
-funny speeches, including Jen's cousin who told Mike "you're very interesting. But I'm married" and Mike's cousin, who told them to have "pink babies." Some of the people at my table and I were kinda shocked and didn't know how to react because we're not sure if that meant for the baby to be more of Mike's Canadian, white side and not Jen's Asian side, otherwise known as a yellow baby. Took a while, but then we realized it meant for them to have girls. And it took the Australian to tell us Canadians that.

To get to the other side?
-even Sharon said a speech which I personally think drew the most laughs out of her group. I would like to think I made an impact on her? Nah, couldn't be
-oh, we also met Dan for the first time, who was their photographer and will be ours as well. He reminded me of Jon Favreau for some reason. Oh, and he even pinched my nipple. Don't ask

All in all, good times, albeit the emcee was overly inebriated and was swearing and was screaming into the mic and doing some schtick at the end of the night which he must of thought was crazy funny. I'm sure it was crazy funny; unfortunately, only to him. So, congrats and good luck in the future!

There goes that thought about it being a quick post

PHP

As in Public Health Par-tay. I am going to make an appearance tonight at Montana's for the party with the workmates. Yay?

I'm not sure if this is what it will be like, but I hope not

Tit-anus

Aside from the absolutely vulgar title of my post today, it also sounds like the vaccination I got today. I went to my Doctor for the results of my blood test (normal, but continuing on with the crestor for preventative measures), and asked her when the last time I got a tetanus shot. She went to look at my files, and came back with a needle. Oh, and she said, "I added some polio in there too." I found that funny for some reason. I swear I didn't know you can add different vaccines in there. Dammit, why didn't you add Typhoid and E. coli while you at it?

That's right. He owned multiple chopsticks for use...at the same time

Oh yeah, and my shoulder is sore now. Argh.

Depressing

Sort of, when it starts to get darker earlier. So many things to do still! Including:

-laying down all the soil and growing new grass

-painting the side

-washing my car thoroughly, perhaps putting on my wheels

-etc.

Dang yo.

Tippin' Yucky

So for Kim's birthday, Kim, Madie, Sandy, Tracy, Ken, Janice and myself went to Iron Chef Restaurant, which had one of those chefs that cooked in front of you (teppenyaki-style). Much like this:

If only he made a Philly Cheesesteak on it
Except, it wasn't quite like that. See, I always thought it would be funny in my head if the chef was horrible, flipping the knives and food but instead of catching it it would fall all over the place. Although not as bad, this chef, Eric, was pretty not so good. I kinda had a feeling when the first utensil he flipped in the air and missed. In fact, I was kinda scared that when he started twirling his knife, I would have a stab wound to, say, my liver.

He kept on trying to do these fancy things, throwing things in the air or cutting vegetable or splashing butter, but he just kept on semi-failing it. I swear he was a chef-in-training or at least on the "B" team*. I was trying my hardest not to laugh and Janice kept telling me, "that's enough!" Well what the hell, I couldn't help but laugh! At least I didn't laugh in his face though. Seeing as how I was with yet again the "quiet group" (seriously, these people don't talk), I made conversation with the chef. Unfortunately, I think he saw it as an opportunity to play games with me. Like only give me a morsel of chicken while everyone else had a big serving. Funny. Right.

All in the all, the food was about a 6.2/10 in my books, and it was kinda expensive. But it was Kim's birthday, so I didn't mind as much. Iron Chef? More like Rusty Chef. I know I can be critical, but seriously, this one warranted it in my books.

*only to find out that there are two big pictures of him plastered on the outside of the restaurant. That warranted a big wtf?!? from me. In my imagination, he is the owner of the restaurant who surrounds himself with other, more talented chefs (which there were) to cover up for his mistakes. Unfortunately, it wasn't covered up.

* * *

Spoke to two of the Portugese triplets, each of which is dating one of Filipino twins. One of them got engaged (Tracy), and the other (Sandy) is desperately waiting for her ring. She even went on to exclaim "I thought about getting pregnant just so I can trap him." Wow. Even though she said she was joking, I can't imagine if I had a girl like her who would be serious about doing that. I'd be screwed, both literally and figuratively! I do wish her good luck though, it's a great feeling to be engaged. I think? luvlubb

Obsession...Again

So I was talking to one of the PHI's here, David. He brought in his sweet bike today, a 1975 Yamaha 500:

It's calling me

He had all the gear, including the helmet that just goes with the bike. I so damn want one. I wish I was him. Well, not really, but I wish I had his bike. Seriously, it must be a sign. I better stop daydreaming and do something about it...in a couple of years.

* * *

Happy Belated Birthday to Kim DiCecco. We're gonna eat sushi tonight at Iron Chef Sushi (yes, that's really the name). Wahhhhhhsahhhhhhhbeeeeee!!!

I Finally Did It!

Got myself a bike!

Because real bikers ride with...sandals
Well, not really. It's her's:

So lifelike...it's like she's almost riding...in a garage?
What the hell, I'm so jealous. Melodie actually got hers before I got mine? wtf?!?
Oh who the hell am I kidding, like I am ever going to get mine. Sigh. Why do I have to be so chicken of my parents/Sharon? *sigh*

Ohmmmm...Ohmmmm...Ummmmm?

So this morning I ate spaghetti with a fork. When I was done, I placed the microwave container in the recycling box. I then washed my hands and proceeded to place the spent paper towels in the garbage bin when I noticed a fork in the garbage can. I asked my Dad, in a disbelieving tone, "why is there a fork in the garbage?" He replied, "I don't know." At that point I realized that I earlier put the fork in the garbage can unknowingly. I always thought I was awake in the morning. I guess not all the time.

* * *

When I was at the gym this morning, there were these two guys working out in those pajama pants that university kids wear. One of the guys was wearing one of those skin-tight hammer shirts. He was saying to his friend, "when chicks are around, I do this: RAARRGHHHH" and proceeded to lift weights while grunting. Unfortunately, they looked really gay together doing these poses and spotting each other. It reminded me of this:

Up, up...up some more!

I think they truly were ambiguously gay.

* * *

And that brings me up to title of this post. I was in the shower this morning, and I make it a habit not to talk to anyone while in there. Maybe a head nod or a "hello" but not statements or sentences. So anywho, I was washing my feet (think of crossing your legs while seated but you are standing up) when the guy next to me taps me and goes, "I see you practice that Yoga at home!" Eee-yeah. Sure. Not knowing how to respond, I said, "well I fell down a lot so I have lots of practice." Yo-ga-boy

One Damn Huge Park

So another succesful camping trip with my baby (successful in that we didn't break up?). We went to Algonquin Provincial Park, which was so big it took us about 35 minutes to get to our campsite from the front gate at 90 km/hr. That's huge!

I was right...over...there

I won't go into a daily account of what I did what day, but just these memories stand out in my mind:

-damn good steak on Friday. Secret I won't forget now is: use more charcoal

-canoeing is fun. It can also lead to a couple having fights and fits due to "superfluous comments" and a "short temper"

-rowie boatboat...rowierowie boatboat...

-Sharon + sleeping in tent + lightning = parnoia and the thought that "at least I'll die with the man I love." And I don't think I have ever been more flattered in my life

Enlightened, I'm Sure

I had one of those enlightening/dreaded moments at work today. For the longest time, I was telling my operators at restaurants to do something "according to regulation" only to find out today that there is no such regulation. In other words, I was making up my own rules. Oops! Now what? I can't tell the operators something else now, like, say, the real regulations, can I? I should be a policeman!

* * *

Going to Algonquin with my baby this weekend. What am I excited about? That's right, you got it:

Meat Makes A Man Mushy

World Record...

...for not knowing the guy who broke all these records lives right in front of me goes to: me. So I was driving my Mom to work this morning when she told me that my Dad helped boost the new neighbour's car (the couple moved in about a year ago). According to my Mom, he's my Dad's "new buddy." Anywho, the guy was telling my Dad that he is in training to break the world record for dribbling a basketball. Only then I realized that he is the same guy who got married at Christ the King Church a couple of years ago, where he made a spectacle by having 47 Groomsmen and his wife had 79 Bridesmaids.

Seriously. I wonder if Sharon would go for something like that? I don't think I even know 43 men that can be Groomsmen. I'm surprised that the Church I'm going to be married in would allow such a spectacle.

Regardless, he's definitely a star on a world stage, and if I were him, I'd also get a photo like this:

World record holder for coolest pose

For more of his outlandish records, take a look at this: http://www.sureshjoachim.net/records.htm

I would get his autograph, but then that might prompt him to try to break a record of "most autographs given to Asian men within 38 hours"

Ah-Luhr-Gees

That's how my Lola used to say it. I think that, combined with some sort of virus that just won't go away, is the reason I feel like absolute crap in the mornings. Like today. Argh.

www.dontwanttowork.com

R.I.P. Professor Y

I went to the YMCA this morning and saw a sign that said, "Rest in Peace Peter Hansen, 1916-2006." He was an elder gentlemen (obviously), that reminded me a lot of Professor Farnsworth of Futurama fame:

What I will look like in 4 years

He had liver spots and everything. But I didn't realize the guy was 88 years old when I first saw him at the gym; I mean, I knew he was old, but not that old. I can't imagine going to the gym when I'm 38 years old, let alone 88. He always said hi to me, even though he had no idea who I was. I haven't seen him for a while, and now I know why. Regardless, he's a good inspiration and I hope I get to live a nice full life.

Because Everyone Loves Pictures

Some random ones:

Reach out and touch...yourself

Real men wear lilac

I never realized my lips are that thick

One of the happiest moments of my life

It's obvious what she sees in me

Cold Summer

That is, rather, a summer cold. Looks like I got one again. Frikin' hell! And I was supposed to go swimming today at Sharon's friend's housewarming party.

* * *

Did some RRSP stuff yesterday through Ron, Melanie's boyfriend. They should rename is Argh Argh SP. Just because.

Whore On The Side

So I was reading this article where this Policewoman in New Zealand supplemented her income with a part-time job...as a prostitute. Apparently it's legal in New Zealand to be a prostitute, but frowned upon if your other job is in law enforcement. I wonder how that would pan out here, if I became, say, a man-whore. Nice.

* * *

And now, in a very pansy way, I present a couple of pictures I thought were cute. It's not very manly for me to post such pics, but this random e-mail from Sharon made me go awwwwwwwwwww. The babyguard:

Here's A Tip: $0.39

Went to St. Louis' Bar and Grill with Arvin and Ken to get our chicken on. Unfortunately, the food wasn't that good to me. On top of that, when Arvin asked a waitress for extra dip, she told him to ask our server, who also happened to be the bartender at the same time. As a result of the rudeness and the rather long wait, we gave them what we thought would be a fair tip: $0.39. (At least it's not like the time Arvin and I underpaid when we went to an astoundingly horrible serviced Denny's. Okay, so we underpaid $0.10, but it's the principal that matters). So to St. Louis' Bar and Grill, I say: YO MOMMA!

Like I might have been saying before, that show is so bad and funny with unintentional comedy, I can't not watch it. So when Ken drove this to the place:

Wanted: Short Dicked Drivers

A Mercedes S550 (starting at $118 000 Can.), I promptly got out of the driver's seat, shut the door, crossed my arms and in my worse Latin accent shouted at St. Louis' "yo momma" (to those that watch the show you'd understand my lame attempt at humour here). I was staring at the car's wheels when Ken showed me the sensors on it. I then went to my car, which was probably cheaper than those wheels I was looking at. I love my car, but damn, it felt like I was just yo momma-ed (soon...I will be sick of that saying...soon...)

Brickabreck

So my brothers and I finally finished laying down the bricks for the landscaping project in the front we were doing. Turned out looking semi-okay...just have to see how it looks with everything in place. And finally I'll be able to post the before and after pics.

Oh yeah, a career in bricklaying? I'm much too fragile for that.

Can I Interpret That For You?

If it's English to English, no problem. Anything else, problem. So I was asked today to do some loose interpreting of Filipino to a client for Kathie, my workmate. Only problem is, the guy really couldn't understand me. I went on saying, "hindi ako marunong mg salita ng tagalog" and of course he understood that. Basically, I just told him that I don't speak Filipino in Filipino. I'm pretty sure I thoroughly confused him. I even asked him to speak to me in Filipino, but he didn't understand my English too well. Then he hung up.

I think I want to learn...French.

Knots Landed

On my shoulders. At least that's what the massage therapist found. A little something like this:

Okay #6 is just ultra kinky

In fact, she was not able to fully release the knots due to insufficient time; next time I better go for the two hour treatment package.

And now...to create more knots working out in the garden. Yehey!

J The Trucker

Well after driving for about 8.5 hours or so from Quebec City, I certainly feel like it. But I wouldn't be able to do it...too boring I suppose.

A really quick recap of what happened this weekend:

Friday - drove up to Ottawa, picked up my girl at airport, went to B n' B owned by a 69 and 72 year old gay couple. They had a cat with a wicked haircut, looked like a mini-lion. Went walking all over downtown, caught a busker show that was hilarious, and had dinner at a great Mexican place.

Saturday - drove to Montreal, went to a B n' B in downtown which was...rather...unique. The shower was located right beside the kitchen and the owner was your typical Frenchman with long, unkept hair and wore clothing that made him look like a strung-out rocker. Regardless, we went walking all over old Montreal, ate at Schwartz's (absolutely awesome), Frite Alors! (would've been better if I wasn't so full), and Bocacinni's. We also took the Metro (subway) to the Casino, where I won $25 and promptly spent it on a charicature of Sharon and I which I thought was quite good. Also bought bagels for the family at St. Viateur. Crazy amount of walking again.

Sunday - drove to Quebec City, and saw perhaps the most scariest thing I could see in my rear view mirror while driving there:

Made my biyag tingle

I was going 125km/hr in a 100km/hr zone, and I knew I was dinged for sure...but thank God (which I did) that there was someone else behind me as well, and he got stopped instead. Holy crap I nearly, well, crapped. Let's just say that when he stopped the other car, the feeling of relief isn't the most descriptive word of how I felt at that moment. Anywho, we made our way to Quebec City, and checked into a B n' B owned by a friendly old man. Ate at a crappy fast food place called Chez Ashton (had a poutine craving, but it wasn't all that), and a 2 for $12.95 steak special with fries and salad at a place called Downtown Bistro (one of those "you get what you pay for" meals). Quebec City was awesome, reminded me of San Francisco, and yet again, we did a crazy amount of walking.

Today - the long drive home, compounded by traffic due to cottage country. Good to be home, and damn I'm sick of eating. I'm still so happy I got away with that ticket for sure. I'm never going back to Kay-Beck...maybe

Back to work tomorrow...sigh...

Phase 1 Complete

The car is lowered a bit, and it feels great making the sharp turns. Of course it could just be in my mind, but dammit I believe.

* * *

Off on vacation again this weekend, except this time with my baby. Woohoo! I miss her! I think she misses me too! I think?

Friday: Nation's Captial.

Ka-Nah-Dah...I think it means "Village o'er there"

Saturday: Montreal (bagels, Schwartz's, pie)

Sunday: Quebec City

Monday: the long drive home. Ah well, at least I'll be with my girl. Barf!

So That's What High Blood Pressure Does

Gives you a bad temper; easy to get mad. Slowly am waiting the days till I move out of this house, when I can leave a know-it-all and become the resident know-it-all in my own house. I hope Sharon still wants to live with me.

Dramatic Suspen(sion)

So I took my car to the Stealership to get these babies installed:

Yes, it's natural for people to take pictures of car parts

That's right, I'm gonna be a TRD Sportivo Ho, and the whole reason why I went to Chicago in the first place. Everything was going smoothly until they gave me the dreaded call: "we need to order in a part, the seat for the shock, where the threads on it became crossthreaded. The car will have to stay here overnight because the part won't come in until tomorrow." Oh man, my baby is not gonna be at home near me now. She'll have to stay the night there, hopefully she's okay tomorrow and not mad at me (yes, I realize I have personified my car). It's all for the better because it's gonna be a crazy fun time with my new suspension, so I think.

In the meantime, I am driving her sister car:

I think that white truck is stalking them

Luckily Ken lets me drive his car when I'm in a pinch. He had to make sure though that I didn't drive on any gravel roads (what he won't know won't hurt him). His car is what my car is striving to be (suspension wise, not the obnoxiously loud exhaust/header and in-dash DVD player). I can't wait (well, I can wait for the bill though).

* * *

Still ridiculously hot today. I hate the sweat and stickiness it incurs on my body. India here I come!

How Hot?

It was so hot today, this is what my body felt like:

blurghhhhblahhhblukkkkkk

That's right, a woman.

Well, a woman melting anyway. So hot that I can't work outside today on the landscaping project despite my best intentions to. I did, however, go to the Weinerfest held at El Dorado Park with some of the workmates, and even got splashed around a lot by this girl who seems to flirt with me. I should prolly stop encouraging her.

Nah.

Rowena

Blog-worthy. Now go get Wentler...errr...Waltworth...whatever

Al's #1

Definitely is when it's mentioned here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_Beef

I now feel very good that we actually had an authentic Chicago meal. Well, my heart prolly doesn't feel good, but emotionally I'm set. Damn, I may be craving one again...

Being Productive

This is how to do a productive Chicago trip in 54 hours and 20 minutes, starring Arvin, Ken, myself and other various co-stars:

Friday, 3:15pm E.T. - pick up Arvin in the PT Cruiser (a gas guzzler by the way) and head for Chicago

5:30pm - arrive in Sarnia; proceed to wait 45 minutes to cross the damn border

(before arrival) - watched Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Saved By The Bell, and plenty of gas/rest stops, puctuated by vending machine visits

Saturday, 12:00am C.T. - arrive in Chicago, pick up cousin Mar, go to White Castle and enjoy burgers like the movie

1:30am - sleep

6:30am - wake up, shower, get ready, proceed to wait a couple of hours for everyone else to get ready

8:30am - arrive at IHOP for breakfast. Ordered an "International Passport" breakfast; 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausages, 2 french toast, 2 pancakes. Yummy, but a little overkill on the butter

10:00am - visit other cousin Daisy and her partner Kim, who we find out is pregnant with twins. It's an immaculate conception!

10:45am - visit United Centre; take photo with Michael Jordan (statue)

11:20am - arrive at Sears Tower; was gonna go up but the wait was 1.5 hours long, so we ditched that plan. Oh, and Ken almost got into it with a crackhead, who was luckily to cracked up he started to bug other tourists instead

11:45am - decide to walk to Millenium Park and Buckingham Fountain. In 40C heat. Ouch

12:15pm - get there, do a bunch of photo-ops, swelter in heat

2:00pm - drenched in sweat, reach the car again. Might be a gas guzzler, but the PT Cruiser has an awesome A/C system (which we would proceed to use the rest of the trip, undoubtedly killing our gas mileage. But whatever).

3:00pm - late lunch at Al's, where they served this Italian Beef Sandwich and fries with cheese sauce. Frikin' awesome. We then had some watermelon and strawberry "Italian Lemonade" across the street, which was equally awesome and cooled us down. Someone needs to open up places like that here

4:00pm - arrive at Steve and Barry's, a store with decent clothing and nothing over $6.98US. Ken and Arvin think it's an awesome store

5:00pm - arrive at Mar's work to pick up the car parts that's been at her desk for the past 7-8 months. Much bigger package than what I thought; Ken and Arvin proceed to start to freak-out that we will be stopped at the border. Yeesh

5:30pm - arrive at Outlet Mall. End up buying a Nike dri-fit shirt for $10 and a pair of Nike runners for $40. I threw out my New Balance runners that were a bit wide and had seen better days

7:30pm - arrive at home for a quick breather. Oh and to "deposit" some stuff in the bathroom. I made the executive decision to try to sneak in two of the three boxes of car parts to Canada, and get the third box delivered to me

9:15pm - arrive at Lou's Pizza, where we had an awesome deep dish sausage pizza. My heart starts to moan

10:30pm - go to Dominick's Grocery store, pick up a couple of Chex Mix for the brothers

11:45pm - get home, shower and do some more deposits

Sunday, 1:00am - talk to cousin Meng, who is leaving for Florida in a couple of days

1:30am - sleep

7:30am - wake up, go to bathroom, say "screw it" and went back to bed

8:30am - wake up, take shower

9:15am - ate breakfast that Tita Myrna cooked for us; longanesa, rice and atchara

9:30am - watch "The Simple Life" on TV

10:15am - say our goodbyes, go to Target for one last shopping excursion, go to White Castle to pick up slyders (aka. burgers) for the road

1:30pm - stuck in Indiana traffic. Thank goodness Ken is driving

(before arrival) - watch "Fun With Dick and Jane", Saved By The Bell and In Living Colour

7:00pm, E.T. - reach the border, had no problems at all. I proceed to get mad at Arvin and Ken for being too worried about getting stopped at the border and I could've taken my other car part (in honesty though, I was kinda worried too, but only because they were so worried)

9:35pm - arrive home, and start thinking about how it would be like if (when?) we were to do this for New York

I do believe I will be calling in sick tomorrow. Now that's productive baby

Jason And Arvin And Ken Go To White Castle

Leavin' tomorrow to Shykahgooo with the groom's party (not pictured below). Should be good, as I would finally get my car parts. Yee-uh!

Don't Hassle With The Castle

Smoggalishous

Apparently You CAN Judge A Book By It's Cover

That house I wanted to live in? Forget it, not so nice.

I dread when we actually start looking for a house for real. Sigh.

Streets-Of-Dream-Ville

Where would you like to live? I'd like to ideally live somewhere that looks a little like this:

This picture not intended to subtly tell Sharon anything

I hope my benefactor would like something similar. I love you!

So I was in the bathroom, taking a "number 1" when all of a sudden in my peripheral vision I notice a big buzzing bug (one of those fuzzy ones that sort of look like a bee yet at the same time a spider with wings) on my shoulder, slowly making its way to my neck. Instinctively, I start to try to shoo away the bug; of course not realizing that I am slowly splashing around and outside the toilet. So I try to compose myself, but the bug gets closer; again I try to shoo, and again the splashing continues. As it gets much closer to my neck, I finally get it off of me and shoo it onto the counter. The aftermath? A dead bug due to the newspaper I hit it with and a whole lot of cleanup. This was my one opportunity where I could've kept calm and compose myself like the ninja warrior I always thought I was. I was wrong. Argh.
* * *

Renos galore in my house again...marble tiles in the kitchen. Gonna be chaotic again; hopefully it will be worth it. Can't wait till we get our own house!

Sexy

Why Is My Car Insurance Rates Higher This Year?

"Because the rates went up"

"Yes, but why?"

"Well, according to my computer, your premiums went up $104 from last year"

"Yes, but why?"

"Well, the Grand Touring Protection Coverage from last year went up $25, so really it only went up $75"

"Actually that's $79. But if my car is getting older each year, and it depreciates in value each year, why are my rates going up?"

"Inflation"

"Really? Inflation? That's the reason?"

"Yes. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"No, but I find that a really dumb answer. Thanks anyway"

Sigh. I seriously hate car insurance companies.