As I grow older I start to realize that the household I grew up in as a child is not the same one I want for my child. Yeah, there was love and caring and all of that, but there are certain aspects I've realized that I shouldn't transfer over to me being a parent.
For one, I vow to grow up listening to my child, reasoning with what he says, and if I truly feel like I'm in the wrong, I wouldn't hesitate to apologize. I certainly wouldn't ask him, angrily and with raised voice "who the f*ck do you think you are?" And then request for him not to come over with his child anymore. In front of his child. And he's an adult himself.
And I sure as hell would respect the way he feeds and raises his child, unless it was outrageously unhealthy for the child.
I know I can't shelter him from all the unpleasanties of the world and that this is one of those moments he grows and realizes that the world can be fucked up sometimes, but it still sucks when he considers himself the reason for his Lolo and Daddy arguing.
I'm grateful for the life I've lived, sure, but to be real there are always going to be resentments that I'll hold. Easier said than done, of course.
I'm also going to remember this line ArJ said: "you don't demand respect; you earn respect"
Any day now they will no longer be here. I'm not wishing for it to happen, but I just know it and a sad part of me thinks of how relieved I'd be. I'm sure I'll regret the last part of what I just said there, but the angst I feel right now numbs me to any thought or idea of that.
My job is to put Eamon in the best position in life that he can be. I owe that much to him. It is not wrong of me to think the things I am right now...
So we just did the 10k race yesterday, Arvin and my 10th year in a row doing it. And wouldn't you know it, he beat me again by a mere 3 seconds. Doh. So many things during the race I did in four seconds I could've not done. Lol. Ah well, it's always gonna be that way with this skinnier, healthier bastard. Lol.
Hopefully this will push me to run more and get ready for the half marathon come October, but you know...nah
So I just had a pretty intense week with almost getting called into jury duty fir an eight week (!) period.
I already told the judge of my profession thinking it would get me off, but the judge told me I was not deferred.
I got up into the stand and 3 of the 4 deciderers felt I was appropriate for jury duty. Then the last one challenged me (thus bringing me out of contention to be a juror). No challenge here!
I contend that I would not have minded doing this if it wasn't for the WNV program coming up. It would've been an interesting experience. Let's see how I feel though if I get called again...
(Justice does have to be served either way. If I am part of that, I would gladly accept that and no joke, would think it's part of my civic duty. I live in one of the best places in the world and I try not to lose sight of that, so yes, I would not mind giving back and being part of something that makes this society the way it is)