Excuses? I've Got 'Em

But it won't do anything to absorb the pain of losing.

This is what happens when my basketball team in the rec league goes to playoffs in a "do or die" situation.  My emotions, already out of whack, goes haywire.

We lost by nine or 10 points.  I scored nine, but only in the first half (my shooting went cold in the second half.  Excuse #1: I played about 38 of the 40 minutes because of Excuse #2:  we were missing three guys).

Okay, well, whatever.  We lost.  But still, it would've been nice to have win.

I hope we play next season again (or maybe not, due to the heart attack I'm surely going to get...lol)

*  *  *

Ricky-Bobby hotter than wasabi.  Went to the Wasabi Buffet for lunch for our "Manager-Supervisor meeting" and as a farewell to my Supervisoryship (free lunch what!).  I was actually impressed with the place.  It happened to be my only real meal of the day.  Ugh

It's Like A New Job!

First day back as a non-supervisor, and already I feel the difference.  That is, like a weight has been lifted off of me.

Again though, I'm not sure how I'll feel in a few days when I realize I'm back at my position.  I'll just try not to think about it, I guess.

Instead, I'll think about other things...like that mountain of clothes in the basement just waiting to be ironed

Advice Only My Mother Could Give Pt. 2

(At Cheyenne's baby Ayden's Baptism Party at the Mandarin, talking to Sharon after seeing a plate full of half-eaten desserts that Sharon didn't finish)

Mom:  Wow, did you eat all of that?

Sharon:  Yeah, but I didn't like any of them.  That's why there is a lot left over

Mom:  Good, you don't want to eat a lot of sweets or you're going to end up having a cesarian

Sharon:  Oh, umm...okay?

Ever Fry Bologna Before?

That's what I liken this Chicken-Bacon to.

I'm not sure I like it.  For what it is, it's okay.  But if I compare it to the real porky goodness bacon?  No match.


I'll tell you what is good though:  this Creme Brule French Toast Ms. Trannifer made.  Prolly because it's ridiculously bad for my health (pound of butter, pound of sugar, litre of cream.  Or so it seems)

As Right As Everything Is...

...why is there always something a little wrong?

I've got to stop thinking this way.  Seriously.

(Man, I am really coming off as bipolar and paranoid and all sorts of mentally damaged these past few weeks...it's really not as bad as I'm making it sound.  Right.  I'm just overly OA, which is quite the over)

Simply Forget

Forgot how much I like Simply Red and that white soulful singer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfhNxt8wBEA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PssiJ9ywc0g&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVlnZVWT7ao&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTLIivYdth8&feature=related

I'm Messed Up

Hope to undemessify sooner or later.

Don't understand a lot of things in life.  Why I feel the way I feel, why I act the way I act, why things are the way things are.  Why being a double-standarded hypocridiot is my way of life.

Scared little boy, what is it with you?  Why do you think too much?  Or rather, why don't you think more often?

Why can't you let these things go?

(The preceding paragraph brought to you by cryptic drama incorporated)

StoveBottom

So I made some anticipated Stovetop Cornbread Stuffing.  I thought it would be the best of both worlds:  cornbread (yum) and stuffing (yum).  But together?  Not the best.  Disappointing in fact

I think I have to eat the real stuff, not the boxed stuff to get a true opinion.

*  *  *

Last day and I am not sure if I feel relieved.  I'll go with a "yes" right now.  We'll see next week if I have to be "recalled" with a lot of issues.  And then how I'll be doing my old work.

Yeah

Last Day?

Last day (tomorrow).

Does this mean I get to leave the office on time now?  Yay!

Will miss the extra pay, despite the fact that the extra hours and responsibility does not seem to be worth it.  But whateves, money ain't everything...

*  *  *

Gotta get in shape for Mexico (getting quite excited).  It's coming up!

Oven Bun

So we went for an ultrasound yesterday, and the baby seems to be "a-okay".  Yay!

Sharon asked if the tech could measure the nose.  Seems to be "a-okay".  Yay!

Didn't find out if it's a boy or a girl.  But that's "a-okay".  Yay!

*  *  *

Long day of work and felt like I did...nothing.  Tomorrow is the second last day before I'm a free-range chicken again...

Confidence Is A Funny Thing

And by funny I mean crappy when you think you have it, but then it quickly deflates.

Straight to the point, I had my worst game of the basketball season (and during our do or die playoff game, nonetheless).  I shouldn't complain because I mean, we did win, but from being the league leader in points to having no points at all (on horrible shooting)?  Damn.  And I was feeling good going into the game too.

I'm going to blame it on the following:  car fell on my (non-shooting) hand; had wings for lunch; knees and feet aching; and, last but not least, I just plain suck.

Maybe I have to change my workout routine to add more shots in the morning, as well as ballhandling drills?

(what is this, the NBA Playoffs?  I'm so sad...lol...wait, no, really, I'm sad right now.  Will be better tomorrow no doubt)

Run Free Thee

Heard this song for the first time in a while and enjoying it a bit too much:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrpUWwCb0IM

And since I'm on the American Idol trip, might as well include this song too:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIDeK7bVfUk

Hey Remember That Time A Car Fell On You?

I can remember it like it was...today.  Wait, it was today.

Flat tire on Sharon's car + crappy jack + asphalt surface + typical careless me = hand wedged between fender and wheel

I'm not even surprised anymore when things like this happen to me (much to the chagrin of my wife, as well as the car whose fender is now bent up).  I am surprised that my hand is not broken (it was seriously stuck, and I had to force it out, much to the dismay of my skin).

I'm also surprised I'm not dead yet.  No, seriously, I'm like a real life Tim the Toolman Taylor.

On the brightside, Sharon didn't freak out (as much).  I was kind of hoping though that she would acquire the superhuman Hulk strength required in a situation like this.  But then I realized I'm not her kid and half my body wasn't wedged under the car.

I suppose this isn't really a laughing matter or anything.

Then it's agreed:  I will live my life to the fullest now after this traumatic experience

(and yet I still joke about it...lol)

One Day It'll Happen

I'll wake up and things will be different.

Yeah.

Right.

wtf is wrong with me these days...my mind has got to stop.  Just...stop

*  *  *

Last week of Supervisorship.  Still feels like a lot of stuff left to do, but at the same time I don't feel the motivation.  How can I, really?  I still feel burnt out and unrecognized (despite the fact I continually claim I don't want any recognition; it's just a job, afterall.  I think where I'm going at here is the amount of time and effort I put into this position does not equal the sense of satisfaction I am getting as a result of the people I work with?  Or something like that.  I think.)

Advice Only My Mother Could Give

(Talking to Sharon about her being pregnant)

Mom:  Oh look, your face is breaking out.  Don't scratch your pimple

Sharon:  Oh, umm...okay?

(Aside from my Mom giving that tidbit of information, I also think she believes if a woman is breaking out during her pregnancy, it means she will have a girl.  Logically, I think she wants Sharon to maintain her acne.  I told her a compromise:  we'll have a gay son)

*  *  *

Went to another Chinese buffet for my Dad's BDay celebration with the family.  Got Chicken Balled. Ugh.  I'm going to feel it tomorrow for sure

Come On Settle

Hoping and wishing for the day when the noises in my head settle and I have silence I'm actually able to enjoy (and not of the awkward variety).

Don't got to know where you're headed as long as you're going forward (or something to that effect)

Home Hot Pot Attempt #1

A bit of a fail.

I think the stock I used was a wee bit too spicy and salty.

Will attempt again at another date (when my sodium levels are not staggeringly high)

*  *  *

Transition.

I'm in all sorts of it right now.  Gotta adjust...

Boom Is Still Easy Rock

Rebranding a station does not necessarily change it.  For example, Boom 97.3 is still, to me, Easy Rock 97.3.  Either way, I like listening to the station while cooking.

This song came up (love Motown):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wYoLQc-x5g

(I'm also a fan of Rod Stewart covering songs.  Here's his version:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eefPYLgzurg)

As well, one of my all-time favourite songs came up as well (one of these days I might actually write a list of my all-time favourite songs.  Not today, though):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-opY4qcidFk

Makes me want to dance like this (no joke):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNK-cl_yHIU

Or more like this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5tWlAW9Sws&playnext=1&list=PLD8BDA978D1EF03E6&index=25

I feel like being part of a dancing ensemble.  Why am I such a cheeseball*?

*cheeseball = gaytard

This Is Why I Got A Blackberry?

So I can spend half a boring meeting just surfing the web?  Score!

So today was one of those "I don't want to be a Supervisor because I have no confidence in our management and I'm better off just being a part of the regular staff" days

It's What Basketball Warrior's Go Through...

...so then why the hell am I going through it?!?  I'm not a basketball warrior.

Got a nasty elbow to my bicep area today in our loss (I only got 6 points in another pitiful display of basketball).  Been getting a lot of bruises lately on my arms.  Frustrating, really.

But now I have an excuse not to work out tomorrow.  Fat me says, "score!"

So Was It Fun?

Less than two weeks before I vacate this Supervising position.  I'm trying to decide if I liked the experience or not.

Like most things in my life, I'm going with "sometimes".

Now it's time to start thinking about the future again.  There was another "good opportunity" at work that came up, but I didn't even bother applying.  I'm not sure if that position suited what I was looking for.  But then again, what am I looking for?  And what makes me think I would've been even a considered candidate?

So I did apply for another position.  Here's hoping?  We'll see

Exactly What I Needed

Rolando passed by and gave us massages.  Damn straight.

Hey?  Yeah

That Boy Will Be A Man Soon

Had Xavier's 1st Birthday Party today.  It's been one year already?!?

Time goes by quite fast.

If only time could slow down, and if things were different

(cryptic much?)

From Bachelor To Baby Daddy

So last night I hung out with Melodie (and later on Nina and Ryan passed by).  It was fun just sitting down, doing nothing, watching the game, playing video games (haven't done that in years, and I felt like an uncoordinated retard).  I got home at like 1:45am.  Can't remember the last time I did that.

Then I woke up early to go to the babytime show at the Toronto Convention Centre.  Wow.  I swear it's like the wedding industry:  it's all a sham!  They just want you to spend as much money as possible (not that I'm cynical or anything).  But really, it was a lot to take in.

I am, though, getting more excited about having a kid.  I get to hold one and I don't have to give it back!  (gay)

We kept going back to certain vendors, and as a result, we now have 6 baby bottles.  Oh, we also bought a sling and a baby wrap.  Can't wait to rock those out (I'm serious).  We were also close to buying a really expensive Uppababy stroller because apparently it's worth it (Gil and Marie have one, so it's not really that ridiculous.  Right?), but we thought better of it as we may have been too excited.  Hopefully it's just as cheap when we do buy it.

But yeah, I went from being a "bachelor" to being a "baby daddy"...yikes, where has my life gone?

*drama*

It's Like Puberty All Over Again

I've always prided myself on the fact that I have been able to go only 5-6 hours of sleep a day, and still be somewhat effective.  I used to just mentally will myself not to be sleepy or lethargic.  Lately, though, I've been feeling tired.  I hope this doesn't mean my mental strength is starting to wane (not that I've ever had mental strength).

I hope my body isn't changing again.  I need to be able to perform on a few hours of sleep, especially with a baby on the way.

Can't wait till my voice starts to crack?

Maybe I Have To Rethink This...

...whole basketball thing.  That is, that I'm a "scorer" in basketball.

We played the worst team in the league, and managed to only score 25 points (a whopping 4 points from me).  I think I'm too tense out there.  Gotta relax again and just let the game come to me.  Not that I'm looking at personal stats or anything, since we won and all.

(Okay, no, seriously, do I really think I'm that good that I say those things and I'll magically get better?  lol)

On the brightside, my energy levels are up again.  But after just downing this panzo, I'm not sure how it will be tomorrow

Gotta Get Off This Cycle

Eat like crap, go to the gym, eat like crap, play basketball, eat like crap, eat like crap, eat like crap.

Like crap.

May that will help get me out of this funk?

Feeling Refreshed Now?

After a weekend of slothing and doing nothing, I would hope so.

It's a new day (a new life?), time to git up and git at it

Behaviour Is A Tough Thing To Change

I should know.  As much as I try to change, things stay the same.

I do not know when this angst will leave me (perhaps never), but I have to learn how to deal better.

Lord help this child of ours coming into this world that he/she does not get my way of thinking, nor my hot/cold tendencies

This Is It, Right?

I think so.

Feels like it is (a little like nausea).

And life goes on, I guess

And Now Do It With A Kid

Went grocery shopping today and saw a Father with a young boy.  Then I saw him take out his cell and call someone (presumably his wife) and ask her if he had to buy a certain food.

Then I got thinking:  in a few years, this is going to be...me.

Yikes

*  *  *

Heard this song for the first time in a while and forgot how much I liked it, despite her sounding like a howling dog at parts:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLclkP9x_68&ob=av2e

Gorged Incorporated

Had lunch with my Kiri today (day off what).  I gorged at the Japanese place we went to.  I've been eating too much lately.  I should stop.

I think it really sucks the life that is being handed to Kiri right now.  I wish there was something I could do to help ease her pain, but like other things in life, there is just not enough wishing in this world for things to come true.

Wow Debbie Downer, gotta perk up

Basketba-lawl

I'm really into basketball.  If you are too, I would think you would find this as funny as I did:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGFDF96hwTE&feature=player_embedded

I'm still cracking up

*  *  *

Had some yummy Afghan food for dinner.  I ate too much

Hi Juhles!

Fancy meeting you here.

I'm just going to go ahead and believe that you're really not going to enjoy these non-sensical ramblings of a confused iconoclast.  Or maybe you will.  I mean, I do enjoy you.

Please, stay and peruse for a while.  But don't blame me if you don't like what you see (and read...assuming your eyes don't "hurt")

*  *  *

Day one of Project:  Recommitment to Focus.

(Fail due to some munchos, 3 chocolate balls, 1.5 shortbread cookies and a brownie)

Gotta Snap Out Of It

So I think I'm in a funk.  Physically, emotionally, mentally...what have you.

I gotta snap out of it.  It's manifesting in my basketball games (only 4 points today, and we lost).  I have no energy.

It's time to git up and git at it

*  *  *

Went to Bioped today and met Jools and her new (half-Asian) baby Dexter.  He's so frikin' cute and smiley and bouncy (and he's only 4 months old).  I'm hoping our baby turns out that way.  I think she trusted me because I was pretty much babysitting him for 30 minutes by myself as she worked on my orthotics (I'm oddly flattered by that and I feel good about it.  Go figure).  I thought it was funny when the other customers there thought it was my baby.  I was gonna go along with it, but then I realized that this child was wayyyy too cute to be mine.

One of her "secrets" she told us to do was to use this thing called Baby Plus (put it on Sharon's belly in the morning and night to mimic the sound of heartbeats).  I mean, sure, it may be some new-age-fangled thing, but it's worth a shot?  We need to give every advantage to this child, because genetically, we're not starting him/her off good...lol

Newness Abounded

New building for work, and it's actually nice.  Even nicer?  The commute home, as it shaves 15 minutes off of it.

Also, only takes 10 minutes from my gym to the office.  Score!

I can get used to this.  Although, it does remind me that I have to start thinking about my future again.  Less than a month left in this role.

What am I going to do next?  I am going back to my old position, but another, different one is being posted for next week.  Decision time again