What Exactly Is It That You Want?

Everything.

But you can't have it. Too bad; live with it.

For example, right now I would love to have the internet at home. Unfortunately, it's just not working. Oh well...such is life.

*  *  *

Accomplishment:  fixed outdoor vent from dryer, including taking out massive lint balls. Felt like it was a lint fire just waiting to happen

Ever Get This?

Something/some thought in your head that you just can't release?  No matter how much you try to shake it, it festers in there, proliferates, germinates, perhaps even poisons your psyche...and sometimes, you don't even know exactly what that thought is.  Sometimes you do know.  Sometimes it's so conflicting that you can't do anything but accept it, no matter how much it shreds you inside.

Yeah.

Ever also get the feeling you're too dramatic for your own good (or rather, bad)?  Heh.

It's who I am.  Or is it?  Is it who I want to be?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCgzX7vwlFk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs

I do know that life changes fast.  What you once knew is no more when you least expect it, and what you want you can't have, and if you blink, it gets further away, moving off into the distance, still in eyesight but getting more out of focus.  I need new glasses.

I'm just all over the place (as usual).  Tomorrow is a new day, as it always is.

(I often wonder if I am still writing in this blog years from now I'll look back on these types of posts and remember what I'm talking about.  Or if it really is how I'm making it out to be with my thoughts/actions/reactions.  Meh)

*  *  *

Accomplishment:  degreased range/fan parts.  Made two bookcases.  Laundry

As If You're Young And Single And Hip And Happenin'

Except, of course, I was never really hip and happenin'.

So I met Buh and Drew at Liberty Village today in the evening and hung out with them.  As always, fun times.  Buh and I both agree it's fun knowing a quasi-celebrity, where we get to hear the stories of other "celebrities".  We also like to compare how depressed we all are...lol

*  *  *

Last day of WNV tomorrow.  Good summer; can't wait until next year!

But What Would I Do?

Uh-oh...looks like that question has been popping in my head again when it comes to thinking about a career change.

Must be a phase I'm (always) going through

*  *  *

Last official day of trapping for the WNV season today.  It was tedious work the past month with all the driving and whatnot, but I enjoyed it.  Much different than my regular routine and I enjoyed the company.

Dang, talk about being wistful

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlOcpVgbwZk

Maybe That Will Help?

Had a quite painful but effective massage from the Chinese Guy today.  I'm feeling like it was a workout.  Hope it leads to a restful sleep tonight

*  *  *

All the season premiers for the shows are starting this week.  I no longer have cable.  I guess streaming it is

*  *  *

Last full day of trapping done today.  It's been a fun September with this kind of work and it doesn't hurt I had a good partner (Winnie).  Looking forward to doing this again next year

*  *  *

Some encouraging news:  I did not go to Rona today...lol

Another Restless Night

Sucks.

As a result, felt like a zombie today.

Also, a zombie for Rona.  Yup, went yet again.  This time with Argay (who previously spent 3 hours there himself; as we all know, he always tries to copy me), and I actually controlled myself!  Just bought a humidifier filter, what!

Went to Home Depot as well to plan out his new house projects.  He's quite excited and I don't blame him

*  *  *

Today is the start of the last week of my summer stint in WNV.  Kinda sad, but all good things must come to a close.  At least for 6 months then I'm back again.  Unless I win the lottery!

Okay, This Addiction Is A Little Troubling

I ran the 10k race this morning in an outstanding horrible time of 55:43.  I mean, I can go with the standard "I guess it's okay because I really didn't train at all" excuse I always use, but I mean, let's face it...it wasn't exactly a run I did.  More of a leisurely jog.

If a video camera followed me throughout the course, they would have captured me just gawking at the homes as opposed to, you know, concentrating on running fast.  It dawned on me at about the 8km mark that I still had a lot of energy left in the tank and my body wasn't hurting and that I could've went a whole lot faster.  Such is...me.

There is at least one thing I can brag about this race that I'll get to say for a year:  I beat Arvin by a whole damn lot (nevermind the fact he said he was too "sick" to run).  Every victory helps (me, not him).

Another thing I kept my mind on during the leisurely jog was going to dim sum after the race with Ian.  And some dim sum yum yum we did.

Followed by my absolutely horrible addiction of late...going to Rona.  wtf?!?  We were (of course) only supposed to go for a few minutes, but that turned into hours.  Yes, hours.  I'm glad Ian is as insane as I am when it comes to purchasing things on the cheap.

We also have similar view points on spending a lot of money in the present to save a lot in the future.  Case in point?  We bought wire for re-wiring.  And not just bought...we bought out the wire (he has a basement to finish, I have future plans for exterior lighting).  He also bought rain barrels and other stuff that turned out to be quite a hefty bill (but one that still saved him 75%...so in essence, we were making money, right?  Right?!?  Right!!!  Rationalizing...it's awesome.).  I was about to buy an electrical panel box for my future expansion plans, but since it was only 10% off I didn't get it.  My logic is warped when it comes to this stuff, but it makes sense to me.

Anywho, it's a good thing this Rona is closing down otherwise I'd be broke pretty soon.  Well, broker, anyway.  I'll miss the deals though and the high it gives me.  Seriously.  I have problems

*  *  *

Went to my parents house in the afternoon to see Andrew, Reeva and Lariah before they move back to Vancouver.  I was in the garage with my Dad as he tried to climb a ladder to put something on the top shelf.  Three steps up and the collapsible ladder collapsed.  Needless to say, quite a scary sight for me, especially seeing him fall on the floor and the ladder falling on his leg.

I asked him if anything was broken like his leg or his wrist that he landed on, and he said no.  Then he got mad (not at me, per se, but more likely me asking him if he was okay).  Anywho, I fixed the ladder again and this time I went up on it without anything happening.  But seriously, my Dad isn't getting much younger and I feel like recently my nerves have already been a bit frayed so it led to a pretty unsettling feeling within me.  Not that it's about me of course because I'm sure he's going to get some bruising from the tumble.

And then of course I got mad at my Dad later on for him feeding Eamon cookies after Sharon told him not to.  I suppose it wasn't that life-changing a moment for him.  smh

*  *  *

Oh, did I mention I've been insane lately with the tool buying?  I also bought a Ridgid impact driver on eBay for less than half the price I would've paid had I gotten it new.  Picked it up with Argay all the way in Scarborough (figured if I was going to get shot might as well have someone "sick" get shot too.  That's right, I went there).  Score!

Now I just have to find stuff to impact drive.

(I have found one of my vices/hobbies it would seem:  tool buying.  I'm such a tool)

*  *  *

Thanks again SoundCloud!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65fl_TQ-NDs

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8c3DtTQUwc&feature=related

Got Me Again...

...that Rona did.  But seriously, how could I not buy a $12.50 sledgehammer?  Or a $1.50 torpedo level?  Or a $2 hacksaw?  Or a ton of putty knives, paint scrapers and other painting gear?  Exactly*.

I'm beginning to think I should be buying more stuff and reselling it.  I'd make a killing!  And by killing I mean just a pittance more and prolly not worth the effort.  But still.

Anywho, you remember that scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks' character finally gets off the island, and all he could do was cry?  That's sort of how I feel because glory glory...I actually finished the room/closet I was renovating.  Well, I mean I just have to clean the floors, put on decals for Eamon (Rona ftw) and make the bookcases (again, Rona ftw!).  But I mean the majority is done.  And it only took me...well, let's not go there

*  *  *

Have a 10k race in about 7.5 hrs.  Yeah...

*delusional

Buyers High, I Still Got It

It may be due to the fact that I calculated how much I would've spent if all the products were on regular compared to what I actually did spend.

Hey, rationalization is great.

But then of course I do the stupid thing of overthinking and start lamenting on how I should have gotten more items and then resell it for a profit.  I'm clearly not a business man.  Jeez, what is it with me and getting upset with things I never had in the first place?  As always, I have to remind myself to be happy with the things I have.

I also have to remind myself that hoarding is bad

*  *  *

Came across this song after watching a clip on WSHH about a guy who wouldn't look like he would sing this but he did:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmMWtUv3_OY

Actually a song I dig...yee-ha

I Just Went To Look...

...and of course with my problems of "OMG THERE IS A DEAL! I BETTER GET AS MUCH STUFF AS POSSIBLE", there was no doubt I was going to spend a lot at Rona.

But I didn't exactly anticipate spending 3.5 hrs in there.  Nor buying a new table saw (75% off!), extension cord, multi-tool, rotary tool, tool engraver, bookcases, support poles for when I do crown moulding, putty knife, drill bits, saw blades, precision screwdrivers, painting equipment, raingear, books, dishgloves, broom, worklight, lights, plant food and gawd-knows-what-else that I managed to rationalize in my head.  Yeah.  Yeah.  I clearly have an addiction to buying tools and other stuff.

BUT...my workshop/tool collection is really coming along, and my plan of getting a better, smaller more compact table saw at an (insanely) good price is coming along.  Now then...does anybody want to buy a good, used table saw?

Retail therapy?  Drop the word "retail" and what's left is what I feel where I need to go.  Good thing I worked a lot of overtime this summer.

(Oh dear gawd I think went insane.  More ways than one)

Overcome, Not Succumb

Frikin' anxiety attack.

Trying to focus on the happiness

*  *  *

Went on a "date" with bubs to Osso Bucco (wagjag ftw!).  Ordered the osso bucco,which essentially was a huge veal shank with risotto.  I think I ate only like 33% of it.  Yikes.

We ended our date at Home Depot, where we bought plants.

Excitement, you have nothing on us

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl5usKhGz60

Interesting Quote I Heard (September 20 Edition)

"Why would I want to be a Social Worker and help people if I can't even deal with my own sh*t?"  -coworker that irks me at times, and couldn't be more true.  In a lot of respects

*  *  *

Heard on the radio recently and linked to this in the past, but still a good song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PVhFE43C6Q

Okay, Training Starts Now...

...said by me, but most likely will not be coming into fruition...lol.

So I signed up for the annual regretfest for next year:  the Mississauga Marathon 10k Race.  Maybe next year I'll actually try.

Right.

I have a race this Sunday.  Yeah.  Dead!

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuRLuHjfaeA

Now I Know Your Pain, Danielson

So there is this scene in the movie The Karate Kid where Mr. Miyagi gets Daniel to paint his fence.  After Daniel is done, his shoulders and back and everything is really sore.  I never really empathized with his pain...until now.

I just finished painting (the first coat...sigh) the crown mouldings and baseboards for the project that seems like it will never be done.  The paint I'm using is good, but...it is thick and doesn't go on the smoothest.  So now I'm kind of sore.

I only wish I subconsciously learned karate after this

What Are You Passionate About?

Was having an interesting convo with Winnie in the car today about careers and futures and whatnot.  We inevitably started talking about what our "ideal job" would be.  I think the job/career I have now I am relatively competent at, but is it my ideal job?  I mean, it fits me and who I am for the most part, but I started thinking about how envious I am of people who have jobs that they are really passionate about.

Then, of course, I started thinking about not just passion in jobs but in life itself.  I'm sad to say that I don't know what I'm passionate about; if I even have any true passions.  I've always been a bit of a "dabbler", enjoying lots of aspects life brings.  But anywho, even if I did have a real big passion, could it necessarily translate into a living with a real income and the other intangibles that can provide a good life?

Here, in no order of importance, are some of the things I can think of being passionate about:

-renovations

-eating out

-loving and being loved

-basketball

-my car?

-the internet

-finding contentedness

Seriously.  Nothing there that can lead to, you know, money or anything.

Anywho, life is a journey, right?  And that I shouldn't be envious of other people and should instead concentrate on what I have?  Hate to lose that focus even though lots of times I feel things are incomplete

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6BC_uQEEmM

9:30, Really?

Don't know what the heck that was all about...went to bed last night at 9:30pm.  Well, then.

Was also a pretty busy day yesterday:

-went to Eamon's first "Kindergym" class.  Can't believe how active my boy is now.  In fact, he's pretty crazy there

-went to my parents place for lunch (karekare what).  All the boys are getting quite bigger

-went to Arfeli's new place in Toronto.  Nice stacked townhouse.  Saw the excitement in them that we had when moving into ours, with their planning and whatnot.  Welcome to the mortgage club, where no one really wants to be in!

-went to Joon's Korean Restaurant, where we tried their dish of chicken, veggies, noodles, rice cakes and mozzarella cheese (!).  It was good...kind of like fancied-up university food.  Hey, don't I have a race in a week?  Yeah, I'm dead.

K, so it's Monday today...gogogogogogogogo

In Which I Forgot I Am An On-Call Mailman

Oh right.  I still have to work o/t delivering flyers whenever there is a positive.

So for the past two days I've been delivering.  But even though it was unexpected (at least to me because I got used to the fact we haven't been working o/t the past few weeks), I was okay with it and the the extra cash really doesn't hurt

*  *  *

Accomplishment:  caulked the hallway baseboards and painted the closet.  Almost there...

This Is The Future!

My first attempt at creating a post using my Android. Looks like I can't edit the fonts though...meh.  Still, I never thought I'd have such technology in my hands to actually do this! And with a picture to boot.

Just finishing caulking the crown mouldings and the baseboards. All that's left now is to paint and then a say whaaaaaaat I'll be done?!?

Just don't want to think about how many rooms left I have to go though...lol

Focus

Can't stop now.  Gotta keep focused

A Serious Question Posed

So Sharon asked me today something that made me kind of sad when I really thought about it:  "how can anyone abuse their own child?  They are so helpless."

This is very true, and the only thing I could answer was "some people don't grow up right themselves."

I look at my son and I do wonder how anyone could abuse their own child.  I love the little guy and he makes me smile, no matter how hard it is at times.  I just wish that he grows up right and that we do a proper job of it

*  *  *

Into this song for some reason...lol:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0&feature=youtu.be

In Which I Feel Like A Horrible Parent

Eamon has been sickly lately.  Sharon decided to take him to the walk-in clinic, despite me just saying that he'll get better.  I asked her if she wanted me to go; she said for me to just go play basketball because it should be an in and out appointment.

Well...turns out it was a bit worse than I thought and he needs an inhaler for the next little while.  And they didn't get home until 8:30pm (he usually goes to bed at 7:00pm).

Needless to say, I kinda feel like guilty.  Sucks.  Whatever the case, clearly this isn't about me and I'm really hoping he feels better soon

*  *  *

Thanks again, SoundCloud:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUvfW3xI6NQ

*  *  *

Giving up sucks but sometimes it's all you can do

Hall(most) Done

Because the closet wasn't enough, I also decided to redo the baseboards at the upstairs hallway.  Which, of course, just brings me further and further away from being done the actual project.

Luckily, I was able to finish all the cutting and nailing for the hallway, so all that leaves me left to do is caulk all the crown mouldings and baseboards and then paint.  Of course that will take me a long, very frustrating time (caulking is an art that I'm not an artist in), but whateves.  Oh, but at least I cut the baseboards in the hallway the correct way, and I'm kind of happy about it.  This way whenever I'm walking down the stairs, I will now see baseboards that do not bother me (like they originally did).  Nice

*  *  *

Tomorrow will be an interesting day...gonna go tick dragging.  This job is still fun!  Less than a month left before reality

*  *  *

I find it hilarious when Eamon points and then grabs my armpit hairs.  He's such an...interesting child.  And one of the happiest moments in my life is when he is laughing and smiling.  I often wonder what kind of a man he will turn out to be

One Of Those Long But Fun Days

Hooray!

Morning:  St. Jacob's.  Fun as usual, as we seem to go every year.

Afternoon:  Gil and Marie's place, where there was a kid's fair in front of their house (Eamon rode a pony and his laughing and smiling was awesome).  There was also a get-together at their house with all their friends and a lot of kids there.  Unfortunately, one of the kids was a bully and was picking on the smaller kids (including Eamon).  Sucks.  Also got my car serviced for the first time and everything seems to be okay so far.  Thumbs up what.

Evening:  started using Google+ Hangouts and after multiple attempts, finally got Arfeli, Mistie and Beevy all at once where we all video chatted.  Crazy to think about how far technology has come.

I should sleep.  I really should.  Haven't been sleeping much again lately

Run To Rona (Way Too Much)

So this Rona store closing is saving me lots of money but at the same time not really.  In that I keep spending money there.

But still!  I'm saving money!  (See what I did there?)

It's now at 75% off regular price on clearance items.  Of course I missed the items I really wanted (Skil Multi-Purpose Tool) but I got steals on other stuff I didn't know I wanted (lol...3-piece saw blades, air-powered multi-purpose tool).  I think the cashier there tried to rip me off by not allowing me to buy some screwdrivers at 75% off the regular price, but the line-up was crazy behind me so I didn't want to hold anybody up.  I'll try again maybe tomorrow.  Or, you know, not try so I don't spend too much money.  But deals.  Deals!

(some things don't change)

Speaking of running...don't I have a race in a few weeks?  Yeah.  As usual...I'm dead

Caulk That Gun To My Head Already

Dang.  Sometimes I'm okay with caulking.  Other times...it's like today.  After spending a long time prepping the surface of the walls (sanding, wiping down, taping), I went ahead and started caulking.  Then I took off the tape.  Then I started to curse myself (of course).

I didn't even finish (too tired).  Crap.  Gotta keep going on this; can't stop to think

*  *  *

Those feelings are creeping up again.  Sigh

This Song Makes Me Think About Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-Xm7s9eGxU

That is all

In Which I've Become A Truck Driver

So with the WNV students gone for the summer and one month left to go, it's up to a small number of us left on the team to do the work the 10 of the students did.  For example, my new partner Winnie and I have to set up the mosquito traps.  All over Mississauga.

I think I drove something like 190 km today just for work.  I'm like a truck driver!

Not that I'm complaining though...

*  *  *

I might be addicted to the show Community.  I have watched an insane amount of episodes since last week.  I'm afraid to see how much data has been used at the end of the month.

But whatever...we don't have cable anymore!  And it's a really good show.  So yeah

Reflexology? More Like...

...re-f*#$%-that-hurts-ology.  I went for an appointment today and I guess my body is all out of whack and the system needed some re-aligning.  Just wish it didn't hurt so much during the process.  But all-in-all, it was something that was good.  I think

*  *  *

New students started today, and the one in particular I'll be working with is amiable.  Last month before reality!

*  *  *

While I dislike my new cellphone because the physical keyboard is no longer there (damn fat fingers), it does have some fancy apps.  One of them is a program that listens to a song you are listening to and gives you all the information about that song (ex. name of song, lyrics, artist).  Anywho, sometimes I hear songs on the radio and I never get the name or the artist of the song.

No longer!  Here is one I heard today that is a nice smoove-groove:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge95ah-Po_Q

*  *  *

Still trying to learn how to be happy

Labour Day Indeed

Productive day today:

-finished trim inside the closet

-went to Petodie's house.  Am always amazed whenever Melodie plays the piano.  As a bonus, I got to play the box-drum-thing while she was playing.  I felt like I was in a band

-spoke to the new neighbours and even gave them a tour of our house.  First impressions of Tom and Kim are very good and they are very nice people

-being a basehead, decided that I am also going to change all of the baseboards in the hallways upstairs.  Because I apparently don't have enough going on.  Luckily I have no cable anymore

-did the thing I was dreading the most in the room:  sanding and applying wood filler to all of the crown mouldings and baseboards while trying to make everything as seamless as possible.  Took me a dang long time, but I'm relatively happy with it.  Can't wait to paint the sucker then I'm really in the homestretch

Busy day tomorrow...I really should sleep

Wings For A Reception?

Oh heck yeah.  Granted it wasn't a "real" reception as Cheyanne and Chris got married in the DR a few months ago, and this celebration was at Lionheart Pub (a few minutes from our house), but still...I had wings for dinner.  And it was awesome!  Big roaster style sings, fried and seasoned perfectly.

Which reminds me, I've been hitting the food way, way too hard recently (emotional eating much?).  I've gotta start upping my exercise (I think I have a 10k race in a few weeks...yeah, good luck with that one) and watching my diet a bit more (really, really good luck with that one).

On the brightside, this bedroom is really coming along.  Now it's just onto some of the tedious stuff (i.e. filling in joints, sanding, painting).

And that will make it one room down, three rooms and a hallway to go.  Yeah, seriously, what was I thinking?  (as if Im not actually enjoying seeing the results)

*  *  *

Rando:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6Dh9Qmy3mw&feature=related

Daddy Day

Yesterday was one of those days that made me realize (even more) that I have a little being depending on me.  Eamon is going through some teething pain again and that's making him quite the miserable.  He didn't want to leave my side, not even wanting to go to Mommy.

Okay, that made me not-so-secretly happy.  Whatever.

We also spoke to Mistie on video chat, and holy crap Macsen looks like an exact replica/mini-me of Mike.  I guess what I see in Macsen is what other people see in Eamon and how he looks like me (although honestly, I don't see it).  Can't wait for the two to meet each other again.

In the meantime, I can't wait until he gets over this miserable phase, because today he is quite miserable

*  *  *

Accomplishment:  baseboards done (just have to do the quarter-rounds)

Oh So It DOES Make A Difference

So I bought some of the expensive paint (Dulux, from a stand-alone Dulux store) that was 50% off.  I wondered what difference a $30 can of paint from Home Depot or Rona would be to a $55 can of paint from a Benjamin Moore-ish type of store.

After painting the room I've been working on, I now know:  about 4x better coverage and faster to apply and essentially only one coat.  Not only that, but I have about half a can left over thinking I had none.  Seriously!  I don't know if I can ever go back to the "cheap stuff".

Don't tell me I'm now a paint connesour.  Dang