Friday, November 29, 2013


This Movember thing was fun.  I always wanted to see how long my moustache would grow if I didn't shave it.

Turns out, not so much.

Poor excuse of a Foo-Man-Choo ftw!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Might Be The Lack Of Sleep Talking...

...but I miss having a baby.  I'm forgetting what it was like.

Now don't get me wrong, I love having my toddler.  But there's something about having a baby...

...yeah, I'm a girl

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

"He Has A Short Attention Span..."

So I went to my first ever parent-teacher interview this morning.  And that was the thing the teachers said about Eamon.

Naturally, I blamed his mother in front of them.  Unsurprisingly, none of them believed me.

That's my boy!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Reality Check

So hard to let go; so hard not to have regret.

I'm not a Martyr.

One day I'll have an answer and maybe I won't have that dark cloud following me around anymore

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Thank Goodness For Old Wise Chinese Woman

So after pulling my groin which in turn totally effed up the rest of my body, I went to a massage therapist recommended by Laurie.  This was an older Chinese woman, who, to me, has some crazy magical powers.  She fixed my body without me even telling her exactly where it hurt.

Couple that with another epsom salt bath (yeah, wtf?), and I think I'll be sleeping better tonight.  I hope

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Bruk Down Body

So I pulled my groin playing basketball.  And the pain extended towards my back as well.  Hurts something firece, even with the massage therapy I received.

Took an epsom salt bath and while my skin is left feeling refreshed, I'll have to see tomorrow how my back and groin muscles respond.  It was a nice bath though.  I thought there were a few moments I was going to nod off in the bathtub.   lol

And really, how the hell do I ask an RMT to massage my groin without looking like a perv?  I mean, I do so well (for the most part) hiding it.

Oh, and all this concentration on my body parts has also got me realizing I'm becoming more than pudgy and my malaise towards the whole situation should be troubling.  I'll always have this sense of what I want to look like and if I continually have my doubts of getting there I figure I'll always have that motivation.  So why the eff am I so apathetic right now?  Gotta git back on it

Friday, November 01, 2013

When Exactly Will I Be Ready?

Yeah, I don't know.

*  *  *

I've been doing a lot of non-sensical entries lately.  As is, my mind and my emotions.  Sometimes I'm my worst enemy (make that 99.9% of the time).  I've been trying.  Maybe I actually need help and someone to talk to?  Or maybe I don't and I'm just overthinking things.

Regardless, I was sent a poignant quote from Laurie that I like:

"If you are suffering in your life right now, I guarantee that this condition is tied up with some kind of attachment to how you think things should be going. Affirm, "I release the need to determine how things "should" be."

Now then, how the hell do I exactly follow it?

*  *  *

Oh, and I've also been swearing a whole lot now.  I know that signifies something, but maybe I've been so stuck up the past few years that it's acting like a release valve of sorts.  Of course.

My sleep patterns are also worse than it's ever been (as evidenced by this post).

As is the theme for the other aspects of my life, I'm not sure what to make of this.  Am I the person I was?  Am I the person I want to be?

Maybe I just have to stop reflecting and just be