Tuesday, December 31, 2013

What I Came Up With, 2014

I guess I should do another New Year's Resolution quasi-list:

-back to working out
-run a 1/2 marathon
-back to no swearing
-learn to let go
-learn to forgive (especially myself)
-more patience (especially with myself)
-better father
-better friend (especially with myself)
-eat healthier
-stay motivated
-finish projects
-be open minded
-trust myself more

Here's to a better 2014!  My life is good, could be so much worse...I hope I never lose sight of this fact and don't take it for granted.

"You don't need to know where you're going, as long as you're going forward"

Monday, December 30, 2013

That Time Already?

Holy crikes...already New Year's time.

Years past I would be taking the time to determine resolutions for the upcoming year.  This year I don't know if I'll have any or at least a lot of them.  My life has completely changed...I'll try to think of a few

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Miserable Day

Even more so than usual.

Sigh

Monday, December 23, 2013

Ice Stormin'

So this weather has been beautiful but nuts. My neighbour's tree looks like it's been amputated; I'm just glad it didn't crash into my backyard.

I'm also seeing my baby boy grow up more and more everyday.  I'm really enjoying these moments with him...it helps me forget about the pangs of loneliness I feel sometimes.

I gotta snap out of this funk I've been in.

Get up and gogogo

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Painting And Thinking Again

Painting pretty late again (my fault; I also started pretty late).  Still fighting this bug.

Luckily (?), it is somewhat relaxing, but it also leads to (over)thinking.  About life.  And what's in store, what I maybe missed, the wrongs of the past, the sadness.

I wonder if there is a karma for me, both good and bad.

Hoping that one day my heart and my mind will find what it is looking for.

I should sleep and find my dreams again

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Vay-nay 2013

Well the last half of the mini vacation kind of sucked. I spent it trying to get over / ignore the sickness. As a result, I have an excuse for why I didn't finish the renos I wanted to finish. Sigh

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Semi-Vaycay 2013

Nothing like the feeling of the start of extended time off of work.  It's gonna be hectic in a few weeks from now, but I'm going to enjoy this feeling at the beginning of it.

Of course I'm gonna try to catch up on a lot of house-work, but whateves

Friday, November 29, 2013

Lessvember

This Movember thing was fun.  I always wanted to see how long my moustache would grow if I didn't shave it.

Turns out, not so much.

Poor excuse of a Foo-Man-Choo ftw!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Might Be The Lack Of Sleep Talking...

...but I miss having a baby.  I'm forgetting what it was like.

Now don't get me wrong, I love having my toddler.  But there's something about having a baby...

...yeah, I'm a girl

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

"He Has A Short Attention Span..."

So I went to my first ever parent-teacher interview this morning.  And that was the thing the teachers said about Eamon.

Naturally, I blamed his mother in front of them.  Unsurprisingly, none of them believed me.

That's my boy!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Reality Check

So hard to let go; so hard not to have regret.

I'm not a Martyr.

One day I'll have an answer and maybe I won't have that dark cloud following me around anymore

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Thank Goodness For Old Wise Chinese Woman

So after pulling my groin which in turn totally effed up the rest of my body, I went to a massage therapist recommended by Laurie.  This was an older Chinese woman, who, to me, has some crazy magical powers.  She fixed my body without me even telling her exactly where it hurt.

Couple that with another epsom salt bath (yeah, wtf?), and I think I'll be sleeping better tonight.  I hope

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Bruk Down Body

So I pulled my groin playing basketball.  And the pain extended towards my back as well.  Hurts something firece, even with the massage therapy I received.

Took an epsom salt bath and while my skin is left feeling refreshed, I'll have to see tomorrow how my back and groin muscles respond.  It was a nice bath though.  I thought there were a few moments I was going to nod off in the bathtub.   lol

And really, how the hell do I ask an RMT to massage my groin without looking like a perv?  I mean, I do so well (for the most part) hiding it.

Oh, and all this concentration on my body parts has also got me realizing I'm becoming more than pudgy and my malaise towards the whole situation should be troubling.  I'll always have this sense of what I want to look like and if I continually have my doubts of getting there I figure I'll always have that motivation.  So why the eff am I so apathetic right now?  Gotta git back on it

Friday, November 01, 2013

When Exactly Will I Be Ready?

Yeah, I don't know.

*  *  *

I've been doing a lot of non-sensical entries lately.  As is, my mind and my emotions.  Sometimes I'm my worst enemy (make that 99.9% of the time).  I've been trying.  Maybe I actually need help and someone to talk to?  Or maybe I don't and I'm just overthinking things.

Regardless, I was sent a poignant quote from Laurie that I like:

"If you are suffering in your life right now, I guarantee that this condition is tied up with some kind of attachment to how you think things should be going. Affirm, "I release the need to determine how things "should" be."

Now then, how the hell do I exactly follow it?

*  *  *

Oh, and I've also been swearing a whole lot now.  I know that signifies something, but maybe I've been so stuck up the past few years that it's acting like a release valve of sorts.  Of course.

My sleep patterns are also worse than it's ever been (as evidenced by this post).

As is the theme for the other aspects of my life, I'm not sure what to make of this.  Am I the person I was?  Am I the person I want to be?

Maybe I just have to stop reflecting and just be

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

And Here Comes Another Freakout

Feeling dumb, stupid, naive.

Argh.

Gotta get stronger and focus on the present and the future...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Just Takes A Second

Good good good good good freakout good good good good delusional good good good good freakout good crap good can'tstopthinkingandbeingemotional good good good.

No wonder I turn to it.  Can't be good.

Good good good freakout good good good justforgetdammit good good good overthinkerig good good...

Monday, October 21, 2013

Now What? Look At It

Don't forget to see the forest from the trees.

Big picture.

Big picture.

Day by day, step by step until sweet, sweet...

Relapses suck

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Turning Pages

Sometimes a book is really good.  Sometimes, most times, unfortunately, it has to end.

The memories of that book will always stay, but it's someone else's.

Thank you for letting me read yours.  H8usm4vr.

I have to start writing my own book...

Saturday, October 19, 2013

"Son, Can I Have Some Of Your Croissant?"

"No.  Cry first."

"I'm not going to cry for a croissant"

"No."

That's my boy.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I'm Sickish

My kid to me after I tell him that:  "do you need to go to hospital?"

*  *  *

Haven't done a funny parents story in a while.  My Mom was over and trying to have a conversation with Eamon.  She asked him, "do you sing O'Canada at school?  Let's sing it together...O'Canada...our guiding home land...okay, Eamon, you sing it"

*  *  *

Quandry

Saturday, October 12, 2013

What Are You Thankful For?

I'm thankful that my life isn't as bad as it could have potentially been.

I'm also thankful for the light of my life, the little boy who makes me smile (of course, as I have incessantly said over and over).

I am not thankful for not wearing more toques after I just got this haircut.  I have to remember to do so as a lot of heat gets lost when I cut the top and as a result I always tend to get a cold.  Like right now.  Yargh

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Don't Grow Up Too Fast, Little Boy

I kiss and hug my boy as much as I can whenever he's with me.  One day he'll grow up where he doesn't want me to do that anymore, and I'll have to be okay with that.  In the meantime, I'm gonna enjoy every last moment I can doing this stuff with my crazy little retard (I say that endearingly, of course).

Random thought as I remembered how I felt when I was swimming with him this morning, which in itself is an activity that is one of the highlights of my week

Where's The Motivation?

No, seriously, where did the energy go?  Somedays I feel it, but lately I've been moving like molasses.

Gotta get going...gotta stop just coming on to here to complain.

Happy notions:
-my son is getting to be a big boy and the Montessori claims that he is really smart and cute and gets away with stuff just when he smiles.  He truly is, some days, the only reason I smile
-the house stuff is coming along.  If I do a lookback on how it is now to when I bought it, I think I've been doing an okay job.  I just have to remember that stuff like what I'm doing takes a heck of a long time, so I shouldn't get down on myself if I'm not further along to where I unrealistically wanted to be
-new/old friendships I've been having lately
-that maybe it's working and that I still have some optimism

Friday, September 27, 2013

Uhtz Uhtz Dance

Well these Thursday nights have been...interesting.

Need to refocus again.

Seriously have to refocus.  Painting should have been done already

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Further And Further

Not sure where I'm at or if it's where I want to be...but it'll be okay.  Things happen for a reason, right?

One day the answer will be there.  One far off day

Monday, September 16, 2013

Crazy (Sugar-Filled) Weekend

Ohhhh....so this is what is meant as having no weekend due to it being all for the child and child's activities.  Smorgasports, swimming, Michael's bday, Cruz's bday...no wonder it was a tiring weekend.

Kiddo is going to be with me for the next 3 days as his mother is going to Ottawa to help Debbie after she has her foot operation.  I guess I should figure out what to cook and stuff.

By the way, this kid has a crazy vocabulary as I'm being told by multiple strangers.  Recent things he's said:
-"Daddy, it's bullDOZER.  Say it Daddy, say it" (after calling it "bow-zer" for a long time, he was always shying away from saying it because we always tried to correct him and saying "say it" afterwards.  Now he learned how to say it and is trying to teach me)
-"The am-balance is going to the hosPITal" (after calling it "hops-tible" for a long time as well).  That smartass.  Love that guy

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I Have To Do This To Remember

Been slacking on jotting down my memories.  Coincidentally, my memory seems to be going wayward a lot and I forget to do this.

So my boy has started Montessori and the teacher there consistently heaps praise about him to his Mother and I.  They especially say how articulate he is.  That, for one, I will agree with.  It's crazy how big his vocabulary has gotten and his sense and rationalizing.  It's also crazy how responsible he has gotten in the sense wow....he's starting to go to the bathroom (sans #2) by himself.  The other day he did when I was downstairs cooking, and he didn't make a mess at all.  Also hilarious that he put both of his legs through one shorts leg hole and his underwear.  It was quite amusing.

I feel so damn lucky I have a good and smart kid.  I'm sure he's understanding that his parents aren't together anymore as we tell him nothing but the truth.  I see him listening and analyzing and in a way accepting.  I'm sure there are going to be many bumps along the way, but nothing I hope we can't handle.

Other developments?  Who knew I would be getting to be better friends with certain people I never thought I would be with?  Also, the house is coming along (new windows, doors, ceiling make for a nice fresher look) and I can actually see light at the end of the tunnel!  (sort of).  Oh, and I think that's it for the "money".  Time to really budgetize. Finally, the WNV season is coming to a close and thus I'll be back in my old work life soon.  I have a feeling next year I'll be a little sad

*  *  *

Still lost; still trying to figure stuff out.  Might take a lifetime; just trying to enjoy the ride in the meantime.  Still feeling anxiety, still feeling stress, still feeling...sad about many things.  But I remain optimistic that things will get better.  Just gotta keep pushing on and not staring back so much as just looking back every once in a while.

Panty lined!

Friday, August 30, 2013

Day Of Byes

Lots going on today, mostly saddish. Eamon's last day at Joanne's, which he spent a year and a half at and grew in leaps and bounds. And they were nice and man I really grew attached to those kids there. But all good things come to an end and he had a good time there.

Now I just have to be mature at the new school with the new kids. Lol

Also had to say bye to my summer students and had a lunch party for them. Good bunch, they will be missed. Also means I'm back to "normal" in a month. Yikes.

I'm typing this as I'm giving blood. Good way to distract myself. Just about done...

Man I have a lot to do still with the house... Gonna be busy again. I I've been too lazy for too long.

Let's do this...

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Oh Hey Fellow Randomo

Good luck trying to follow my train of thoughts. It's off the tracks! Again, nothing interesting to see here and be prepared to laugh at me but don't point. Banana. Oh and trying to post something on my phone is screwing up the formatting. Blah

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Time To Breathe Yet?

This whole settling into a new house/parenting/renovating thing is getting to be a little exhausting.  Could always be worse, but I'm just feeling fatigued.

Been taking a bit of a physical/mental break, but I gotta start at it again.  Hopefully after this weekend after Montreal with the boys (there will be a 10k race on Saturday that I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do well in).  So much to do, such little time as the refrain goes

*  *  *

Fleeting, I bet. But at least for a little bit the thought is there

Saturday, August 03, 2013

The Next Chapter

So I started this new chapter in my life officially.  Moved in last week and still scrambling to get everything all set up (still gonna be a long while until that's done).

Didn't realize I'd sort of be a mess and overwhelmed.  Just gotta remember to take things day to day/hour by hour.

Had a full day today with Eamon.  He took a nap at my place for the first time and it was a success.  My baby boy is growing so fast, fully potty trained and talking in full sentences.  Crazy.  Went to High Park and Ikea.  Love that guy.

Now then, just gotta tackle my list of 7561 things to do...

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Even If Just For A Bit...

...welcome back daydreams.  It's been a while.

Only hope you know what you're doing with reality

*  *  *

Sleep?  Who needs it (me).

But it's getting there...slowly but surely.  Enough time to sleep when I'm dead!

*  *  *

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Stabile-Eyes

Went to go see Ives today for my eye check up (glad they're back from the west coast).  Looks like my eyes are beginning to stabilize...time for (Mini-Me! Stop humping the frikin') laser eye surgery?

Otherwise an...interesting day.  Hope I know what I'm doing.  It's always like that with me, though...taking these weird risks randomly

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Distractions Distractions

Found myself a distraction.

This surely won't end well

*  *  *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv1L0Fp2n8Y

Monday, July 22, 2013

Sad/Anxious

No one (well, at least me) ever wants to admit that they failed at something, especially if it's a big life event.  I'll be moving out officially on Saturday, and of course being who I am, is giving me all sorts of conflicted feelings.

Sad that things failed between us, but optimistic that our friendship will still last.

Worried about the "next step" in life, but also excited.

Just general anxiety.

But before all of this, I have a ton of things left to do.

Gotta focus and concentrate

*  *  *

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Okay So What's The Reaction?

Calmer?  More hyper-aware?

Meh.  As I thought before, not worth it

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Remembering What It Was Like Pre-Eamon

So Sharon took Eamon to a cottage for a week starting today.  Surely going to miss him, but I figure I'll keep myself busy by trying to blast through a bunch of the renos.  Have no choice!  Hoping I'll be able to move in before the end of the month.

Very thankful and grateful that Sharon and I are able to keep a civil relationship in front of Eamon and that she has let me stay at her place until I was ready to move in.  Like Kiri and Kats said yesterday when I met them for lunch, it's quite unusual.  I'm just really lucky in a lot of respects, that's for sure

Friday, July 19, 2013

Damn Hoof And Mouth

My poor boy with the hand, foot and mouth disease.  Damn daycare.

He's so cranky and he can't brush his teeth because his "tongue hurts".  This too shall pass, I hope fast

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

"Oh It's Good! No Bugs!"

So I was at a ghetto-er food court with Doreen for lunch today that was known for roaches.  I saw a pest control operator there after I ordered my bulgogi, and I asked him how the mall was doing in terms of pests.  He responded with the title of my post.

Sure enough after a few minutes eating my food, I feel something crawly on my arm.  Yup.  Roach.  Killed it and kind of heebee-geebeed.  lol.  Ah well, such is life; I'm still going to go there (of course).  Good thing I didn't go with other coworkers who would've freaked the eff out (ex. Kats).

Another freaky/eerie thing that happened at work today was driving along Eglinton near Forum Dr.  Doreen all of a sudden freaked out and pointed ahead...a tiny boy (looked to be about 3 years old) and an even tinier girl (looked to be about 2 years old) were holding hands and crossing in the middle of the street.  Luckily the lights were red and another driver jumped out of his car and frantically rushed the kids to the sidewalk all the while asking where their mommy was (no where to be seen).  My theory is that it was daycare kids that escaped.

Whatever the case, I couldn't forget about it because all I thought about was my boy.  Sigh...so scary what could have happened.  Just thinking about it now makes me a bit sad.

Got home and hugged my boy a little tighter (also went to the splash pad and his cousin's house with him afterwards).  What sucks?  He looks like he might have the hand, foot and mouth disease that is going around the daycare (there are canker-like things on his tongue).  Dang.  Dang.

That Dreaded Phase

Well, dreaded for me, anyway.  And man, I really hope it's just a phase.  What am I talking about?  The "no Daddy, go away Daddy I want Mommy" phase.

You know the one, where he refuses to say sorry to me when I'm disciplining him and he only wants his mother.  Meh, it was bound to happen.  Hopefully in a few years he'll come back to me.  Or something.

I mean, especially with the changes in his life right now, and with everything happening...sometimes I fear and really hope he doesn't grow up to resent me or anything.  It's especially worrisome to me when his mother and I have differing opinions sometimes on parenting/discipline, and when/if we argue in front of him (like today).  I guess I really should work on my temper or something, but...yeah.

All I can do is love him to death and hopefully he'll understand and accept the decisions I've made in the past.

*snap out of it*

sigh

*  *  *

Almost there.  Just some finishing touches to do for the major things on the upper floor.  Of course I have more than a thousand things to do downstairs (oh, and not to mention the closet organizers for the upstairs).  I just try not to think about it, or the fact that I haven't been sleeping much.  As well, sometimes I work a bit better when I'm mad/upset.  I kind of hate that about me

*  *  *

This song gets me all the time:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZHGeg_0Rlo

Sunday, July 14, 2013

"What You Say Brah? Come Here And Say That Again, Brah!"

The stupidness you hear from a basketball court when our group asks someone who didn't rent out the gym to leave.  (Wasn't directed to me; was directed to the white guy from a black guy.  Still felt tense afterwards, of course).

Hope my body doesn't break down completely.  I rather enjoy playing basketball again

*  *  *

Weird how my feelings go.  Always have been weird.  Just trying to get in tune with it now and trying to control it somewhat.  Life changes all the time; why can't I?  I don't think it makes me any less of the person I think I am.

I haven't ever forgotten my dreams.  It's just not the dreams I expected.  I remain optimistic...just hope I don't lose the faith

I Guess If I'm Going To Do This Whole Weight Loss Thing...

...I should probably start eating right.  Oh, and also stop eating so late.

Ate at Wally's of all places with Beevy.  The clientele there was...unsavory (?)...to the point that we looked like the odd ones there.  But whatever, food was okay as was the company.

I should also prolly start sleeping properly as well.

Eventually

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Such A Beautiful Day...

...being spent indoors finishing up trim and whatnot.

Could be worse.  Plus, what exactly would I be doing in this weather right now anyway?  I think I need new/more friends who plan things and do stuff outdoors.  Sometimes it sucks being the planner/inviter (then again, I'm pretty sure that they are doing things but I just didn't make the shortlist.  Wompwomp)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sleep, Child

Well it's been a while since Eamon has slept through the night.  Sucks.  Hope he gets through this phase quickly, especially when he starts to sleep at my house

*  *  *

Keep on pushin', don't lose focus.  Not as far as I want to be, but much further than I was before.

Funny how life turns out sometimes.  Sometimes not as funny

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

That Was Floody

So I worked last night during this big storm/power outage.  (Secret?  Avoid major streets, take side roads).

I hate people who don't treat stoplights as four way stop signs.  I was quite daring just laying out my horn in my small car.

Anywho, I almost got stranded in a flood on Derry Rd. between Torbram and Bramalea.  Good thing I was going like 70km/hr cause when I hit that 4" of water on that flooded out bridge, it slowed me down to like 20km/hr.  Any slower, I may have not had the traction to keep going and I would've gotten stuck.

With my heart pounding, I called up Peel Police and reported that they should close down the road (don't know if they ever did).  All this for effin' mosquitoes...lol.

But otherwise, it was nice working out in the rain with all my rain gear on.  I enjoy it, makes me feel like I'm doing a different/important job.  Ghey.

Also funny?  When I got to Sharon's house, the homes right across the street had power and of course her house didn't.  Like, literally 20 ft. away.  I was this close to busting out an extension cord.  Ha.

When it did go on at midnight, I got up all confused and turned off all the lights and of course Eamon woke up and then of course he was a disaster this morning.

*  *  *

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Get Fit?

Motivation comes from weird places sometimes.  For this particular motivation, it involves me and exercising and getting fitter.

I wonder if I found one from of an unlikely source...time to see and do.

Started by playing basketball pretty hard tonight.  Also came pretty close to a concussion it feels like.  Good thing I wear a mouthguard

*  *  *

My Son Makes Me Laugh (July 6 Edition)

Well at least he tells the truth.

I've been using the statement "Are you (fill in the blank with words like eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, etc.) or what?"

His preferred answer these days?

"What"

*  *  *

Don't be foolish now

Saturday, July 06, 2013

It's Like A Stab

Hate the way I feel sometimes.

Go to sleep.

Have some new dreams, maybe

Itchy Hazards Of The Job

Of course working in the WNV program for the summer I have more of a chance of getting bit by mosquitoes.  Like today.  On the back of the head and neck.  Sucks

*  *  *

Gogogogogo...it's go time for putting in the trim.  Light at the end of the tunnel?  A bit dim, but I think I see it there

*  *  *

Heard this on the radio, haven't heard it in a while, and I like it:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-3Jf-_BGzA

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Caught Up To Me

I think it caught up to me...the fatigue.

I've been tired the whole day.  I might actually sleep early

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Stare At Stairs

One other thing I forgot to mention but made me feel quite uplifted about meeting this Max guy:  the compliment he gave me.  He told me that he has met a lot of do-it-yourselfers, but that when he first met me and saw my work he thought I was a professional contractor.  He said that the logical way I think when it comes to installation and my attention to detail makes me someone who is better than even some of the contractors he's met that's been working for a long time.  He said I should do this work part-time to make some good money.

If only.  I did have a big head after that though.  Have I actually found a passion?  (I'm on and off with that thought)

Pic of 95% completed staircase:



You can say I'm getting excited for this to all be done and to move in

Monday, July 01, 2013

Stairway To...Almost Being Done

Staircase is 95% done, but fully functional!  Just gotta do the finishing touches.  Nice guy that Max who did it.  He even charged me less than I expected.  Sweet!  I think it was a good investment.

Now just have to finish doors/trim/everything else.  Just have to keep looking towards the future when it's done.

I'm tired, but excited I'm finally going to go back to the gym tomorrow morning

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Long-A** Day

So far my Canada Day long weekend has been going great!  Well, great in the sense that work is actually getting done in the house:

-Max will finish the rest of the stair railings tomorrow.  It's looking good and more and more I'm realizing that if I did it it would have looked horrible:

-put up a closet door.  Went back to Lowe's thinking a piece was missing.  Went back home to find that it wasn't missing.  They gave me the parts off the shelf for free, but I'll return them as I have no use for them.  Oops...time and gas wasted
-cleaned all the gutters, which involved me going on the roof.  I hate going on roofs (tingly biyag; that fear I'll fall off), but at least it got done:




Notice there are plants growing in the gutter?  Jeez.  I need to get new gutters
-started putting up baseboards and trim in one room

Only problem with all of this work is:
-the feeling that I should be getting more done
-missing out on relaxing
-not knowing when I'll actually be done.  I really hope soon.  I feel terrible every day I'm not moved in, as I'm probably causing inconvenience to her.  Also Eamon is growing older and he really needs to get used to a new routine
-I'm exhausted

But anyway, I have to stay positive

*  *  *

Tried something last night that was quite...interesting

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Well That Was Fun, But You Still Have A Ton Of Stuffs To Do

So this guy Max, a Russian Contractor I hired to do the stairs came today. Interesting guy, very nice, very genuine.  It was good working with someone and learning things here and there.  We actually also had a good conversation about spirituality.

I think we worked something like 11 hrs. straight.  I'm not sure what I was thinking when I thought I could do the work he did by myself.  It would've taken me forever and I would've messed up for sure!

He'll be coming over tomorrow and most likely Monday again.  Dear Gawd I hope we finish by this weekend.

It'll be a busy weekend, which is a good thing so that I don't miss my son too much

*  *  *

Joined a team today...hope it keeps up

Tremendous Upset

So we watched WWZ last night (okay movie save for the end) and did the Mississauga thing of eating at Tremendous afterwards.

As predicted, my body I think is getting too old for this sh*t...lol.  I feel like crap.  But at the same time, I'm feeling good, in the sense that I have a whole day ahead of me of trying to finish up in the house.

Let's gooooooooooo

Friday, June 28, 2013

Movie? Movie!

Been a long time since I've watched a movie.  Gonna go with BeeJ tonight to watch World War Z.

Then the craziness starts tomorrow when Max the Contractor comes over

Deadline Fail

Oh well...one of many timeline fails for this renovation.  I can't help it, sort of.  I feel bad working in the middle of the night with the loud tools (apparently my neighbour told me she hears my compressor).

On top of that, I am kind of tired.  But I did get pretty far for one day, so I'm going to be happy about that:


There was nothing but subfloor there before.

I mean, my carpentry skills have a lot left to be desired for, but I think I'm doing okay as an amateur.  Just gotta finish that last bit of hardwood before Max comes tomorrow to do the handrails...

*  *  *

Canadian picked #1 overall in the NBA draft?  Crazy!

*  *  *

My boy will going to the nation's capital for the weekend.  This is the first time I'll be away from him for this long period of time.  I'm sure I'll survive

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Okay, Time To Get It

So Eamon and his Mom will be going to Ottawa this weekend.  This leaves me a bit of time for myself to lay the hammer down (literally) and really get popping this weekend with the house.  Hopefully the guy I'm hiring gets everything done as well.

Think positively!

*  *  *

Face-melting, shirt-drenching day today.

My students this year are pretty good and they make me laugh...hopefully it doesn't change

Now's Not The Time To Get Discouraged

Worst timing.  Gotta keep pushing on and not think about the insane amount of work left to do in the house before I get a chance to actually sit down and relax for a bit.  I just need time and some positivity

*  *  *

Monday, June 24, 2013

Mood Swing In Effect

Argh.  Hate it when I go through this.  I think it's a combination of the hot water and the frustrations I have with my parents (thanks for listening to me, the Father of their Grandchild, whenever I say something, please, go ahead, do the opposite), and maybe everything else that has me on a low right now.

Time to pick it up...

Look Past The Hurt

Look towards the future.  Don't lose sight.

Keep talking cryptically where the only person(s) who would understand, understand.

Sleep and dream

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Face Melting Time 2013

So I've been writing on this site for many years, and I think every year I always complain about the same thing when it gets hot and humid here:  face-melting time!

The sheen of sweat and grime on my body never gets old.  It even gets more highlighted when I'm doing renovations.

Yargh

*  *  *

Pain. Ting.

Spent a good part of the day (roughly 10 hrs or so) painting the spindles and posts.  Dear Gawd.

And tomorrow I do it all over again!

I don't mind too much...I'm coming up to the homestretch (I hope)

Friday, June 21, 2013

It's Crunch Time

So I have one week to get everything all set up before the guy I have hired comes in and does the handrails/posts/spindles.  I can do this

*  *  *

Gave blood again today for the fourth time.  It's becoming a somewhat fulfilling feeling thing for me to do.

BeeJ passed by and somehow ended up donating as well (less that a week in Ontario and he's already spilling his liquids for the place).  Kats was, yet again, low in iron.

Saw some of the same people I've been seeing since I started.  I come for the cookies!

*  *  *

Good convo with BeeJ today.  Definitely one of those relationships in my life where we can pick up and talk about serious stuffs even though it's months apart.  Good to have them back!

*  *  *

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Fine. I'll Ask For Help.

Never much one to ask for help when it comes to my home renovations, but I think I need to all things considering.  I'm gonna hire a guy to finish the railings for my stairs (kind of important, I would imagine, to prevent from falling down).  Not going to be that cheap, but what's money in situations like this, really?

Just means I'm going to have to step it up with the other projects.  I figured I saved money in other places that realistically I shouldn't be too upset.

Just hope he does a good job (as I've been known to be a perfectionist)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Don't Lose Sight...

...gotta keep pushing forward.

I'm very frustrated with myself and my inabilities right now.  I am also extremely embarrassed of how I'm making things go and affecting people's lives.  I hate it.  Hate it.

I don't want to be a burden to anyone.  I never did.  I'm very thankful for the people in my life that is making it thousands of times easier for me.

I have to keep focussing and continue on doing the best I can...

Ketchup Time

Met with Donaldo of my Rye High days today on a short notice meet-up. Seems like we're at the same moment in life albeit different circumstances.  I always liked the dude who was always straight-up and a down-to-earth kind of guy.

After catching up with him, he gave me some pretty good advice that I think I'm actually going to follow.

Funny how things work out sometimes and how coincidences pop up in my life (as I've said millions of times)

Monday, June 17, 2013

Why Do I WSHH?


So damn funny.

I f*cking love you babe. 


Teddy Bear!

I can't stop watching this...lol

The question is:  why aren't you WSHHing?

*  *  *

Good conversation with a random person today.  Got me to open my eyes a bit more

Step By Step...

...literally.

I guess I'll call it somewhat of an accomplishment this weekend because I installed all the steps for the stairs.  The only thing left now is the railings, which I've contacted a pro to do (just waiting on his quote).

I also hung two doors (not the best, but I guess it looks okay for the first time doing it) with three left to go.  I realized after using it a lot this past weekend that the Dremel tool I have is very quite useful and I resent not using it earlier.  Don't know what I was thinking there.

All in all, it was a nice Father's Day even though I didn't spend a lot of time with my boy (alone time is good too!).  I got to watch a couple of episodes of Game of Thrones, got to go through a long stretch uninterrupted working at the house, and played some ball (in a BO-smelling sauna-feeling gym, but that's okay, I got some exercise in).

Special shout out to my baby's momma who makes my job as a Father a thousand times easier, even through everything we are going through.  Eamon is a very lucky boy to have her, as is Eamon's father

*  *  *

The prestigious, prodigal son has returned!  Really crazy to think that Beevy moved away 5 years ago but now are back.  Nice to have friends close by (which will still be rare to hang out with, but still).  Only person left is the Doktor, but they aren't coming back (and I don't blame them).  So it'll be nice to visit them one of these days

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Faddah's Day

Celebrated early with the family because everyone has plans tomorrow.  Fun and really eventful day Eamon had today with his cousins

Crazy to me sometimes to think that I'm actually a Father.  I love being one :)

Friday, June 14, 2013

Was

The word that hurts the most.

But...also leads to new beginnings

Down The Hole Again

Argh.  Seems like I feel like I'm tumbling back down to reality.  Or something like that.

Smile through it; it could be so, so much worse.

Change your perspective.

Shift the outlook.

Is this what an ulcer feels like?

It reads like a cry for help, but only I can help myself.

I will get through this

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

No Time For Sleep

Or something like that.  I guess I haven't been sleeping much lately.  Been trying to work at the house, but it's slow-going.  But it'll all be worth it when it's done, right?

*crickets*

*  *  *

Looks like the thoughts/feelings are cycling again.  This has to subside somehow

*  *  *

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Nose Bleed City

Sigh.  Hope my boy isn't one of those kids that always has nosebleeds, as displayed this morning.  Was supposed to go to the gym but I had to call that off (one of the drawbacks of having this position for the summer).  Can't wait to get into a routine

*  *  *

Dreams are far and few between.  Even the day-type.  Can't wait until it comes back, if it ever comes back

*  *  *

Might have to just bite the bullet and ask for help with the house.  I'm exhausted and weary, and my motivation is waning.  I know it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help, but I really wanted to do it by myself.  Ah well.  Hope it's not too expensive

Monday, June 10, 2013

Day Care Woes

So my unlicenced day care seems to be going through a bit of a problem thanks to a mother-in-law of a mother of a child that is not even going to be registered at the day care anymore.  Spent a good chunk of the morning investigating the possibilities for the day care owner and the conclusion was to be "tricky".

Unfortunately that also means my boy has to have alternate plans for day care.  Thank goodness he has grandparents on both sides willing to help out.

Hate it when bad luck strikes good people

*  *  *

CBC Radio 2, I am a big fan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9uV-MWSt28

That Antique Roadshow High

So that cheap dining room set pick up I had earlier today?  Turns out it is teak and it re-sales for a much, much higher price.  Boom.  Pretty good considering I wasn't even going to get the chairs, just the table.  Now I have something to sell that should make-up the price of what I bought it for.  Double boom.

Now it would appear I got the "high" of antique-ing and finding a rare gem at an unbeatable price.  And of course, all because of dumb luck

Sunday, June 09, 2013

High School Reunion

That's what it felt like at Ryna's nups last night.  Always nice seeing people from your past (and present).  Left me with a feeling of...angst (?)...nervousness (?)....excitement (?) for the future.

Nice party with some nice moments.  The emcee really annoyed me (drunk? Wouldn't shut up?  Horrible speaking voice?  Grumpy old man (me)?  All checked).  Also, I will forever be the "sober one" while the friends all get drunk.  Amusing and annoying all the same, but some things I guess will never change

*  *  *

Got my delivery from the Brick today.  Dear gawd, it's been so long since I ordered it I don't even remember what it looks like anymore.

Also picked up a cheap (!) but good dining set with chairs from kijiji.  This car of mine, the awesome Fit...never ceases to amaze me.  I actually fit all of it in there!  This on top of when I fit a living room chair in there as well.  Each time I worried I needed to get my Dad's van.  I've got to stop underestimating how mighty this little car is.

Anyway, I'm gonna sell these chairs and most likely end up getting this table for free plus some profit.  Score!

*  *  *

All things considered with what's happening in my life, I'm damn lucky.  I hope things stay the same/get even better going forward

*  *  *

It seems like at times I have full conversations with sentences with my baby boy.  He's growing so fast and getting so smart (and also becoming a smart ass).  Love that kid

*  *  *

Gonna play some basketball in a bit.  Hope I don't have a heart attack.  I've been hitting the junk food/been eating unhealthy for quite a bit now.  I'm looking for that motivation again and stop using convenient excuses not to do what I have to do

*  *  *

From the wedding last night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhC2wZDK63w

Thursday, June 06, 2013

An-Teak-Ing

I've always had a thing for solid wood furniture.  I've also always had a thing for teak, and clean mid-century Danish lines on furniture (I couldn't actually describe it until recently, but I always knew I like it).

So now my latest hobby is sourcing affordable, mid-century teak pieces (antique-ing?  Really?!?).  I was successful in finding these awesome 1960's dining chairs and an old, glass-topped, teak-bottomed coffee table (thank you kijiji).  This in addition to the modern-retro chair I got for cheap yesterday, and I have a challenge ahead of me in trying to make it all work.  I also have to find a dining table and perhaps a credenza.

Of course I still have more than a ton of stuff to do in the house to get it all ready.  Just gotta take it one day at a time, cause gawd knows my anxiety levels have been blasting through the roof lately

*  *  *

Nina's wedding this weekend means it's reunion time again...let's hope it's not awkward or anything with everything considered

*  *  *

Tomorrow is the annual all-you-can-eat Jays' game extravaganza with the workmates.  Sodium, fat, calories and nitrates, here we come

*  *  *

Maybe I need to start writing again.  It's definitely not going to be everyday, that's for sure, but let's see if this will help