Saturday, October 14, 2017

10 Years Ago...

...a lifetime ago. Is it silly to still mourn something that happened so long ago? I don't think so. I would like to think its not regret, but rather just memories and experiences that helped me be who I am today. 

Do I like who I am today though?

Most days. I've been consciously trying to like myself more, despite my doubts, insecurities and sadness.

I try to look forward to the future but some days I'm stuck in the past. 

It's not only the failed marriage...I mean, I'd like to think we're in a good place, but alas nothing stays forever. 

Case in point? My inability to fully get over the latest major thing in my life. 

Funny, I asked her, so cocky and confidently a few weeks ago if things were going to be awkward between us. Today, I was the awkward one. Gawd damn, how old am I? But does that matter? I feel what I feel and I act how I act. 

I stay hopeful that one day the answers will be clearer (not totally clear; can't be naive about that).  In the meantime, I better do something with myself to stay busy.

Rambling idiot. But I forgive myself. Right?

I'm thankful for the anchors in my life

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