I Cant Ever Get Back What I Lost

I can't even fucking cry. I feel like a robot. 

How can I offer her anything?

How can I offer myself anything?

I have to fight myself. I can't do this. I can. I don't want to. I do.

When does it get better? Haven't I been through this before?

I wish I could stop wishing. 

This is the pain you deserve you stupid motherfucker. 

Fuck. 

Stop pushing her away