This Is Why I Don't Share Feelings

It leaves me vulnerable and exposed and a sucky baby.  Hard to control the worms when the can of has been opened.

Fack. 

Maybe I really am mildly bipolar...when it's high it's high when it's low it's really low. Nothing I can do but complain on here I guess. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna break down and admit things yet again impacting her and then spiraling again to the same same. I'm supposed to be stronger than this by now.  Dammit. 

Smoking didn't help either...maybe even made things worse as thoughts and feelings intensified. Sigh