Wednesday, August 30, 2006

"Claiborne Is For Men Too"

J: "Hey Baby, I'm at Yorkdale with Arvin right now. I went into Sears on a hunch to look at the suits. As I was looking around, I went to the clearance rack near the back. I saw this one suit, the only beige one there. I looked at the size, and it was a 40S! Not only that, it's $300 off!!! And it's a Claiborne!!! Should I get it?"
S: (apparently forgetting that for the past month or so she's been telling me she's going to buy me a suit) "Is it for me?"
J: "Ummmm....it's for me?"
S: "Liz Claiborne makes suits for men too?"
J: (what I was gonna say, because I'm a sarcasitc jerk sometimes): "No, I'm trying on women's clothing because: 1. I'm with Arvin, whose been known to wear women's clothing; 2. I prefer the fit of women's clothing because of my curves; and, 3. I was gonna buy this so we can both share the suit"
(what I said, because I realized I shouldn't be a sarcastic jerk with the love of my life): "yes"
So I bought it. Kinda like this, except imagine it with 3 buttons, a different colour, and the suit on someone with a head on:

A real bonus would've been a girl in those pants. Then the pants on my bedroom floor. I'm a pervert!
Okay, it's not like that, but close. Kinda. Sorta. Not really.
I realized I'm one of those it was meant to be kind of shoppers (within reason, of course). Here I was, at Yorkdale, out of the blue (Arvin and I were supposed to go to Pacific Mall, but the traffic was too heavy so we ended up at Yorkdale). I parked at another parking lot I usually don't park in. Went into the first store I normally wouldn't go into. Saw the suit, the last of it's kind. In my size. At a sale price! I even left it on the exact same rack for 1.5 hours, and thought to myself, "if it's there when I come back, I'll buy it." And when I saw it there, of course, it was meant to be!
The only thing left...argue with Sharon that she does not have to pay for my suit because I got it already. I guess she doesn't realize that she's paying for my motorcycle? She does now!

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