Sore Loser Talk (Or Rationalizing...It's All Relative)

So I didn't get it.

And the only reason I found out was because the person who did get it told me. In other words, I haven't been officially declined yet.

Yes, I am upset and somewhat saddened by the fact I didn't get it. I would like to think I did all the necessary steps to achieve it, but I guess it wasn't meant to be (this time...or next...still stings a bit too much right now to really decide if I would ever go for it again). Doesn't help that a lot of people at work, even the person who did get it, was convinced I would get it, saying things like it was mine to lose. I felt like I was the only person who didn't think I would, despite the fact that deep down inside I thought I would get it. Sucks and still hits you hard when it actually comes true.

For the record, I am very happy for Kathie; she is one of the people at work I genuinely call a friend. There is absolutely no way I should be bitter about the fact that she got the position; she is qualified and I said time and again that if I weren't to get it she would be the only one I would want to get it. While I may have had some advantages for the position over her, she did too over me; so really, it's came down to the manager's decision. I guess this softens the blow a lot more than if anyone else were to get it.

I think, really, one of the things that have me disappointed is that for the past few weeks I have started to think of myself in that role. Now I have to revert back to the position I currently have (which I do like on occasion), but the double whammy in this is that Kathie was the best partner I had and now will lose. And plus, I wanted to buy suits!

But for some reason, I would like to think of this as a blessing in disguise. I have always said that I value time just as much as money; I think in this case, I put the latter above the former. With a dog hopefully on the way and maybe kids in the distant future, I am going to need it. And plus, the people I would have had to supervise would have been a challenge. I might not be ready for that right now.

So now what? I guess pick myself up from the sadness and put on a happy face. My life is very blessed and I still consider myself one of the luckiest guys on earth. Things happen in life for a reason; I don't know what this reason is just yet, but I'm sure it will display itself sooner or later