Where Is My Career Going?

I dunno.

I think that befuddles me.  I don't know what I want out of it.  I like what I do, but it also gives me anxiety sometimes.

Specifically, dealing with the a-hole operators that don't like (and that I obviously don't like either).  Mind you, there are only two I can think of, and one of them I'm just not plain returning to.  The other one I have to arrange my schedule to avoid him.  And I think that's what gets my craw...I mean, I'm not a big fan of confrontations, but I understand I have to do it every once in a while.  But these guys...man, I wish I could just speak my mind, but being a "government employee" I'm expected to just take the abuse or not act out in the manner I want to (like I would ever really punch a person in the face.  Although if there were people I would like to, these idiots I definitely would).

And that's another problem with me:  I hold grudges.  And I remain angry.  I always try to cheer other people up, thinking to myself why they just can't shake it off and be happier.  And yet, I can't do it myself.  Wow hypocrite.

In the end...I dunno.  I dunno.  Have to get over this.  Maybe I just shouldn't care about work so much?

Wrong attitude with some things coming up.

But of course, that's not the only thing giving me anxiety.  Egad I wish life were easier sometimes.

Which is why I'm so glad and overly happy when I see my baby smile at me.  He makes it all the worthwhile