Thursday, December 30, 2004

R.I.P. Tito Arthur

Tums. Longenesa. Crown Royale. Menthol Yosees. Crazy Ol' Uncle Art. Papa Titus. Drunk Uncle. Samurai swords. Navy guy. Mean looking. Temper and sumpung, but a "big ol' teddy bear" according to Meng. Crazy-fast driver. -->(Things that I remember about Tito Arthur). And just like that, he's off to a better place.
His heart attack is even more disturbing to me because I just saw him two days ago at Square One, and he was pretending to box with me. It's always like that though, isn't it? You see a person one day, and if the death is fairly recent, it stings even more. And yet, I think that I shouldn't be surprised. Hell, he drunk a lot and smoked a lot.
Perhaps what gets me more is that deaths always make you think more about your own mortality, and those around you. What's one of the first things I thought about? My own Dad, that hard-headed son-of-a-bitch. Something like this won't change how he is. I just have to keep reminding myself that life is fleeting; nothing in life is permanent; God works in ways I'll never understand.
So why did I go watch "House of Flying Daggers" while I knew that he had a heart attack, and possibly died? Perhaps to delay the inevitable. Or even to test my own beliefs about the way life works. Most likely though, it was because I knew that there would be nothing I could do, and I'm not going to sit around and feel helpless. Him, his brother, his sister, all in one year. Wow. You'll be fine Tita Becky. Life goes on till you don't.
The only thing I can hope to do is control my own emotions. Try.
I'll see you one day. You too Lola, hope you're doing alright.

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