I've said it here dozens if not hundreds of times before, in hopes of motivating/shaming myself into taking better care of my health: I've got to stop eating like crap and exercising more. What I see in the mirror I don't like.
Unfortunately, I think I've been mildly depressed lately and I've totally been emotional-eating. I know, wtf? What would I have to be sad about? Isn't my life, on paper, as good as it can get?
I have a very, very good life. I'm very fortunate. I never lose sight of that. But sometimes I have these creeping feelings of overwhelming sadness that I just can't shake. And when I do shake it off, it takes a while. As I get older, it takes even longer to shake it off.
And there might not even be something specific that I'm sad about or anything specific that sets it off. I might have a thought in my mind that would lead to happiness, but who is to say that would actually lead to it? There is a lot of doubt in my mind. All part of the insecurity trap that keeps snatching me.
I just gotta focus and take it day-to-day. I started this blog years ago because it was supposed to be a marker of sorts; a recollection of what I did that specific day or how I felt. I would like to say that this whole process has been cathartic of sorts; it helps regulate me because if I put it down on paper (on screen and accessible to the world, really), I can keep track of my emotions, thoughts and feelings.
Open your eyes and see, Jason
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Received a very thoughtful card from Eamon (and his Mommy) today as I celebrate my second Father's Day. Made me happy
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Accomplishment: put up four picture frames
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