Soccer Today, So-sore-ccer Tomorrow

So I do believe I had the soccer game of my life today, when our annual Environmental Health The Beautiful Game Of Football Game happened. Soccer is a very demanding sport, very taxing on your body (especially if it's scorching hot outside and you are totally not in shape). Which may be the reason why I'll be sore for the next, I dunno, two weeks. My highlights (and lowlights) of the game:

-I was playing striker, and the first pass that went to me I missed. Needless to say, I didn't inspire a lot of confidence in my team. So I dropped down the field to play defence

-maybe not a good idea, as when Kathie was charging the net with the ball, I foolishly attempted to tackle her. Foolishly why? Because her elbow ended up under my left eye. I'm not sure but I think I may be having a bruise there for the next couple of days

-at that point, I realized I may have a heart attack and really, soccer is not in Filipino's blood

-even worse, I was playing defence and was supposed to be covering Trent. He scored

-not only that, I was seriously gasping for air. I thought to myself that I won't substitute out unless I actually do something for my team

-and that's when it happened...

I knew all the training in that bra would support me

Aldo gave me a nice pass where I kicked it with my left foot in past Michael, the goalkeeper who was playing absolutely awesome until that point. I promptly did the finger waving thing that that Italian guy did and Aldo and Trent tried to jump on me. But I would have none of that because...I ran to the sidelines to be substituted. I really, really needed water and air

-seriously, I lost my breath at least 7 times throughout the game

-I played goalkeeper for my team and we were down 4-2 with about 20 minutes left to play. I immediately let in a goal, and were down 5-2

-with about ten minutes left to play, that's when The Comeback went into full-effect. Mark scored, then Danny scored. We were down 5-4 with about 3 minutes left to play. Rosemary told me to go up front and abandon my goalkeeper position. I think she was on to something, because with literally 5 seconds left to play before fulltime (Andrea was our timekeeper), I impressed everyone (most of all myself) when I did the unthinkable:

I scored with a...flag?!? Holy double entendre!

That's right...perhaps one of the highlights of not just my day, but of my life! Well my sporting life, anyway. I promptly tore off my shirt (providing plenty of unintentional comedy amongst the female crowd I'm sure), ran down the field waving said shirt over my head, spotted Tony and chest bumped him and hugged him afterwards. Very gay, I know

-the game ended in a 5-5 tie, and we were going to decide the game by penalty kicks. We lost that penalty kick match, so Aldo proclaimed the game a tie

-I got plenty of props and shocked and amazed faces stating, "where the hell did that come from? I didn't know you knew how to play soccer!" Little did they know that...I don't. I just watch it every four years and try to emulate the real players. I even got a header in the game too! Usually my header attempts turn into facers!

So to celebrate afterwards, I went home and took a shower. Walter called me and told me to go to the Rooster and Firkin's because some workmates were there. I went, and was told by people that they didn't remember me playing that way last year. Basically, I sucked last year, but this year I really impressed them. I unfortunately didn't Zidane any girls (headbutt them in the chest), but I did get to slap Sandra's butt at the end of the day. Hey, she did it to me.

With my ego at an all time high, I think I better retire from the game while I'm on top, just like Michael Jordan (yes, yes, insert snickers here). That and the fact that I may be exposed for the flukey fraud that I really am the next game we play. I am, however, very tempted to buy shin pads and soccer cleats now.