So I'm really feeling it now: the don't-have-the-mental/emotional-energy-to-work mood. I was called "threatening" and "not doing my job properly" today on my voicemail from this trashy lady who I've been trying to get something to be done (well I did give her a final warning on a letter that if she doesn't produce a document she will get fined. I feel I've given her enough chances, and for her to tell me I'm not doing my job correctly, well...screw her). It's moments like these that define a PHI; the whole "I'm not going to let her get away with this so I will, in fact, charge her" moments.
But then...I just didn't care. If anything it made me despise my job. Other PHIs always say, "don't let it get to you personally." Well I've always been somewhat of a...softie? I dunno, I've always found it hard not to take things personal, no matter how small the slight. I think I've said that I'm not able to do the enforcement side of the job so many times I'm actually starting to believe it. I suppose I've always, and perhaps always will be a shakey, nervous, don't-offend-anyone kind of person. Career change? (Wow...I'm not overdramaticizing at all). If all goes to plan, I should be into the educational aspect of it and I won't have to face these self-inflicted stresses. Jeez, I hope.
I guess the weather (grey, dreary) doesn't help much either. In the end, I think I'm just excited to leave for India on Friday. In fact, I got my head shaved in anticipation for it. There are those worries/doubts I have, of course (like perhaps a terrorist scare, Visa problem, getting locked away in a jail for 7 years and everyone forgetting about me, etc), but all-in-all, I can't wait.
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Gonna watch Wicked tonight with my baby. Maybe that'll cheer me up from this somewhat glum mood. Most likely it will, because I get to see Sharon on a Tuesday!
"Can you keep a secret? I farted"
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