So That's What Ignorant Hatred Feels Like

Two days in a row of the same guy shouting at me when I'm inches away, saying bold faced lies, threatening physical violence on me, arguably assaulting me, pointing his finger in my face and generally being volatile to me.  All while I did not say a word to him.

What makes it even better?

Having my Supervisor there with me and not exactly defending me.

Even better than that?

Having the said Supervisor thinking he did everything he could and being generally satisfied with his (non-)actions.

"He'll wake up one day and realize he was wrong talking to you that way" said the wise Supervisor.

Uhhh...no.  He's going to wake up every single day thinking it is perfectly okay for him to talk that way about me and to me because my Supervisor did not tell him it was wrong (granted, even if he did tell him it was wrong, he most likely wouldn't have thought otherwise anyway).

What would I have done differently?  If one of my staff members was being visibly threatened like that, I would've pulled that staff member out and called the police.  I would not have stood there, pretending to play peacemaker, especially if my staff member kept their mouth shut and did not say a word.  I would not have let my staff member hang out there alone because I "don't want to play sides".

So anger and disappointment?  Yes, I feel that.  Not only towards the hateful person, but also towards my incompetent Supervisor.


I never knew what unconditional hatred felt like.  It's nothing like people who are unjustly persecuted everyday around the world (ie. victims of racism, those of different religious beliefs, etc.) and I really shouldn't compare it, but I think I just had a horrible whiff of it.

Maybe I have lived a too sheltered life.  I know the world is not a nice place, but I do not ever recall being treated that way.

Let it go?  I have to.  I am trying to.  Really trying.

It's not worth it.

(It's really not).

It's been a hectic past few months.  Maybe it really is time to rethink my career and what else I want to do with my life.

My baby can't come soon enough...